The Neurotic Housewife

Moving

2011-08-07T15:00:00.000-04:00

We may be home from our trip, but I'm moving.

Moving to WordPress, that is. Check me out here: neuroticalison.wordpress.com

I've transferred my posts, but have discovered that all my pictures are fuzzy. I've manually edited a few posts, but I'm not sure I have the patience to do all 750 of them. I've posted a LOT of pictures over the past two and a half years. I'm hoping I'll figure out how to correct the problem in one fell swoop, but given my gigantic level of computer idiocy, I'm not entirely sure that's possible.

So, please join me over at Wordpress and try your best to ignore the fuzzy photos.

Neurotically Yours,

Alison

Home

2011-08-07T09:02:00.000-04:00

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I'll post pictures and details later, but for now, let me share with you a few things I've learned:

Things almost never goes as planned.
I need a GPS.
Charleston, SC is a very lovely city.
Kids only get sick at inconvenient times.
Cheese fries dipped in buttermilk ranch dressing will make your life more fulfilling. Seriously.

Ready To Roll?

2011-08-03T04:49:00.000-04:00

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I sure hope so.

Actually, if I pressed publish on this post and you're reading it, then that means we're healthy (enough) and on our way to North Carolina for a few days. I typed this Tuesday afternoon at a time when I was hopeful, but still cautious about our trip chances. After I saved the post and went about my business, Caroline proceeded to wolf down a bowl of ramen noodles at her friend's house and then a few hours later, ate a huge cheese quesadilla and some carrots. In Caroline's sick-ese language, appetite = fever free.

So we're off...and you'll just have to manage without me for a few days. I'm not bringing my laptop with us, which means you'll have to find something else to do with your time while we're away. That means no obsessive pressing of the refresh button to see if I've posted a blog entry each day. I know you do that. It's okay. There's no shame in eagerness. No judgement, either. Only love.

Heh.

Our plans are simple: have fun and catch up on life with my sister and friend. A trip to Charleston to spend a night at the beach is in order, along with my main goal: patronizing as many self serve fro-yo places as possible. I know we have such glorious establishments in the DC area, but I don't know where they're actually located. There's nothing near my house, that's for sure. I need a smart phone so I can plug in 'fro yo obsession' and find a place around town to cure all that ails me. My sister tells me she has a fro-yo place within walking distance of her apartment. I don't think there are any words in the English language that elicit as much joy in me as the words self serve frozen yogurt within walking distance. Sure, that's a lot of words, but I'm a wordy person.

Admittedly, I love you ~~and all of your obsessive-compulsive, neurotic 'quirks'~~ is a nice phrase. As is take the credit card and have fun. I like mom, I've been invited to a sleepover at a friend's house a whole lot, too. But, frozen yogurt within walking distance takes the ~~cake~~ ~~cone~~ cup piled high with toppings. Oh, and while we're talking toppings, no fruit toppings, please. At least, no fruit mixed with candy bars and other sinful chocolatey, cookie type toppings. I'm all for refreshing fruity frozen yogurt with fruit toppings when the mood strikes, but there's no way I'm putting blueberries and kiwi on chocolate/peanut butter frozen yogurt.

That. Is. Wrong.

Amen?

As if you didn't already guess it, I kind of love frozen yogurt. Probably more than life itself. So much, in fact, that I take it a little too seriously at times. True story.
I may be taking a blogging break while we're on our getaway, but rest assured that I've got both cameras packed. I fully intend to come home with plenty of pictures to share. I can't promise that most of them won't be of frozen yogurt, because, really? Haven't you seen enough pictures of my kid?

And there goes my mother of the year award AGAIN.
Anyhoo, we're on our way. Wish us luck, good health and happy driving vibes!

I'm not a big fan of highway driving and like it or not, you can't get to Charlotte in a timely manner without taking a ride on the Interstate. Thankfully I have Caroline, my back seat driver to keep me on my toes. She may not be tall enough to see over the steering wheel, but she sure can steer a car from her perch in the back seat. I have no idea where she inherited her bossiness. Nope. No clue.

For the entertainment portion of our drive, ~~we will sing songs from the Glee soundtrack~~ we opted to check out some books on CD from the library. We've never done this before and I'm hopeful that it will provide us with hours of joyful entertainment as we navigate the open road. Or, whatever.

It is my great hope that we shall return on Sunday relaxed, well read and stuffed to the gills with frozen yogurt.

See you soon!

Happy August!

2011-08-01T16:57:00.000-04:00

Hooray, we made it to August! As I mentioned yesterday, July was a little lengthy for my taste, but I woke up this morning renewed and ready to enjoy August in all its glory. Of course, I also started this new month by stepping on the scale, which proved to be a faulty move on my part. Eeep! As happy as I am to flip the calendar page, I was not happy to see myself up 3.6 pounds. No bueno.

I guess those evening snacks of pretzels, Nutella and marshmallow creme have made their presence known.

Good bye late night snacking. It's been fun. Sniff.

To kick start my 'So long 3.6 pounds of late night gluttony' plan in to action, I trolloped around my neighborhood on an early morning four mile run. I intended to go further, but the snooze button got the best of me this morning and I didn't wake up in time to get it done in a timely manner. The four miles were speedy and enjoyable because 1) it wasn't suffocatingly hot this morning (but it is this afternoon) and 2) I totally left some random dude in my dust. Heh. I love when that happens. Nope, I'm not competitive at all. ;)

After my run, I came home, cooled down, ate breakfast and then we went to the gym for Body Pump. But before all of that, I signed up for another half marathon. This one isn't until March, but because it's the inaugural Rock n Roll USA race, they were offering a discounted race fee for 48 hours. Far be it from me to pass up a discounted rate. Racing ain't cheap. Especially Rock n Roll series races.

Despite those 3.6 pounds I saw added to my 'somewhat' happy weight, my day started off pretty nicely. Run, Pump, shower, post office to mail Craig a package, then to Falls Church for lunch and new running shoes. When we got to Jason's Deli, Caroline was hungry and ready to eat, but a few minutes in to the meal, she claimed she was full, which is not like her. This girl eats like her mother...you know, like in a 'leave no crumbs behind' type of way. Immediately I thought: FEVER. She's only not hungry when she has a fever. She's a bit drippy and sinusy, but not really feverish. Her temp is slightly elevated, but not enough to be considered alarming, or even a fever. Her spirits are fine, but her appetite is non existent.

I wouldn't mind too much except we're supposed to go out of town on Wednesday. A trip we're BOTH really, REALLY looking forward to.

I hope and pray she wakes up feeling fine tomorrow.

Otherwise? I may cry. Big tears of self pity.

I don't want to cry.

I want to go to Charlotte and see my seester. And to Greensboro to see my friend, who, as of this month, I've known for twenty (2-0) years!! Ack!

In other news, I ate guacamole today and didn't die or barf. I'm not a fan of avocados because, well, I think they taste like dirt. True story. The wrap I ordered had guacamole in it; a fact I didn't realize until after I placed the order and paid. I don't like to complain, especially when the oversight was my own fault, so I ate it. And it was good. I will most likely never actively pursue the addition of avocado or guacamole to my meal, but I guess I won't balk if it ends up on my plate anymore.

In other, other news, I also bought some new running shoes. I went to the running store to try on some minimalist style running shoes, which Craig has been wearing with excellent results. As it turns out, I'm not much of a minimalist. I didn't like them and opted for my usual Asics plus some new insoles because my feet are falling apart.

It's hard to run when your feet are falling apart.

Anyhoo, that's the scoop for the first day of August.

I'm praying and hoping and wishing that Caroline will be as well as well can be come tomorrow. I have to pick up our rental car in the afternoon and if she's sick in the am, I'll need to cancel the reservation or risk having to pay for a rental car we won't use. And that would be tragic. I guess I should say that the rental car is completely superfluous, but I hate my car and would much rather drive a rental on vacation. It makes it seem more 'vacationy', no?

Just nod your head and say, 'yes, Alison' 'Whatever you say, Alison.'

Hey, it works for Craig!

So Glad It's Almost August

2011-07-31T14:27:00.000-04:00

Usually I hate when it's time to turn the page on the calendar, for it's a sad reminder of how quickly time passes. I don't particularly enjoy being reminded that another birthday (and, not to mention, a more advanced age) is one month closer.

It's sort of depressing.

But on the other hand, July has been one very long month and I'm really happy it's over. And when I say it's been a long month, I mean very long. Painfully long. Long in a I-think-I've-added-ten-years-to-my-life kind of way. I started July at the ripe age of 34, but I feel like I'm entering August as a 44 year old. I hope gray hair didn't spontaneously start sprouting atop my head this month. I'll ~~scream~~let you know if I discover any.

It should also be noted that in July, I officially lost my patience. It's been hanging on by a thread since school let out, but this month, I finally saw the thread snap. Or perhaps I can attribute my loss of patience, not to July itself, but to this season of discontent Caroline seems to have entered. For the most part, she's an easy going kid, which I happen to really appreciate, because it generally makes my life easier. However, for whatever reason, she's never quite happy with the options I provide for her. I suggest something, she counter offers with something else. I say we'll go to lunch at Subway, she asks for McDonalds. I take her to dinner at Noodles and Company, per her request, she balks because I forgot to order her some bread. I offer ice cream for dessert, she wants to make pudding, instead. Nothing is quite good enough.

It's kind of annoying.

Surely you can understand my delight in being able to bid July adieu.

August is shaping up to be somewhat eventful: we're heading out of town on Wednesday to spend some time with my sister in North Carolina. The following week Caroline has Spanish camp in the mornings and an evening soccer camp the week after. Throw in a possible trip to the aquarium in Baltimore and some back to school shopping, I'm hopeful that August will fly by.

In the mean time, while I'm focusing on summer survival mode and plucking any sprouting grey hairs, I'm also trying to switch my blog from Blogger to Wordpress. It's going to take some time because we're going out of town. But also because I'm sort of a computer idiot. I try hard, but it doesn't come easy. Not even the easy stuff comes easily. I've got the basics of the move covered, and I even made myself a new header, but the whole shifting all of my blog posts to a new blog host is kind of scary. I don't want any of my ~~beautiful writing~~ drivel to get lost somewhere in cyberspace. Then what would you do?

Talk about pressure.

In other news, I got a new kitchen faucet today. It's lovely and not at all gnarly and gross like its predecessor. My landlord is quite the handy man and for that I'm very thankful. Because, as adept as I am at changing car batteries, toilet handles and light bulbs, my other household handyperson skills leave a bit to be desired. Word on the street is that I'm getting an new garbage disposal, too. It's like Christmas, or something.

Hmm, perhaps July hasn't been so bad, after all.

Gone Swimmin'

2011-07-29T19:21:00.001-04:00

We've been busy lately, swimming and such. Well, Caroline has been swimming; I've been dipping my feet in the pool and running my mouth.

Works for me.

I brought my camera to the pool the other night to get some shots of Caroline in action.

She's gotten mighty brave this summer.

I took advantage of the rapid shooting setting on my camera and got pictures of Caroline doing a back flip in the water.

We've spent the last three days at the pool.....wait make that four... I forgot we went to our little pool on Tuesday. Tonight Caroline is at a sleepover with her soccer teammates and I am taking advantage of the quiet. I fully intended to clean the carpet on our stairs, but after spending four days at the pool, I'm kind of tired and I just might do the couch potato thing, instead.

Because running your mouth whilst dipping your feet in the water can take a lot out of a person.

Happy Friday!

Now There's a Hole in My Closet!

2011-07-27T10:42:00.000-04:00

It's getting interesting around here.

My landlord is currently here doing whatever it is he needs to do. Words like caulk and silicone and three hours to dry have come from his mouth. But, lets be real for a moment: it's all jibber jabber to me.

All I know is that I couldn't go to the gym this morning and I'm bummed. Because, again, lets be real for a moment: I'm a self centered princess.

While waiting for my landlord to arrive ~~and not going to the gym~~, Caroline and I had a goofy, impromptu photo session with a vase filled with faux foliage.

Because....well, why not?

We're goofballs.

There's a Hole In Our Ceiling

2011-07-25T13:21:00.001-04:00

Uh-oh.

Yesterday, around dinner time, I noticed a drip in our dining room ceiling. Unfortunately, this isn't anything new; we had a drip in our basement ceiling back in January; thankfully this time, we didn't discover the leak during a birthday sleepover party.

Also, I'm really quite thankful the drip was caught early and that my landlord was able to figure out the cause without having to do too much damage.

So, now we have a hole in the ceiling. No big deal.

Know what else we have hanging from the ceiling?

Webkinz swings!

Caroline and her friends fashioned comfy swings out of towels, yarn, tape, wire and clothes pins. They're actually hanging from the upstairs banister and not from the ceiling, but you get the idea.

I think it's pretty clever.

Holy moly, tt just started to storm outside, which I find to be quite enjoyable. I just hope it dies down before we have to leave for Caroline's dentist appointment later this afternoon. I'm also thankful for the rain because this morning at the gym I remembered we're supposed to be watering our neighbor's plants while she's away on vacation. That sort of slipped my mind. Oopsie!

The fun never ends around here!

Happy Monday!

Clean Windows

2011-07-24T13:37:00.000-04:00

Confession: I'm a neat freak, but I often neglect things like windows and baseboards ~~and bath tubs and the floors~~.

Let's face it, cleaning windows isn't any fun. Neither is kneeling down on the floor to reach the dusty baseboards. I'm a big fan of only doing things I enjoy, because I'm a princess like that, but sometimes you just have to get down and dirty.

This morning I took some baby steps towards being less of a princess and cleaned my bedroom windows. What a difference that made! It's not like they were caked in film and covered in slime; I'm not THAT neglectful; they were a bit spotty and a whole lot affected by the outside elements, but nothing horrible. However, it's amazing what a little Windex can do.

Just a little something to brighten my morning.

Speaking of brightening up (our dull lives), Caroline and I spent the evening at my friend's house last night. We had a great time, ate some wonderful food and just enjoyed the company of others. Today, I'm not only thankful for clean windows, but for friends, too.

It's no surprise that my life teeters on the boring side. I stay busy doing day to day stuff, but it's safe to say that I find my current season of life to be kind of unfulfilling. I feel like I'm in a holding pattern; I'm living and functioning well, but hovering and trying to hold on, all at the same time. On a basic level, everything is great. Life is uncomplicated and I find joy in the little things. I'm not falling apart, but I'm not making progress.

It's sort of hard to explain.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that being able to get out and enjoy the company of others is refreshing. And for that, I'm thankful.

And on a completely unrelated subject: I've been glued to the Ironman Lake Placid triathlon coverage, which is happening right now. I read a blog written by a girl who is competing today, which has increased my interest. These athletes are incredible. 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride followed by a full 26.2 mile marathon. Can you imagine?

I'm in awe.

Now...back to those baseboards!

Hydrated

2011-07-22T16:27:00.001-04:00

In case you live in a cave, or in Seattle or San Diego where the weather is always lovely, let me remind you all that it's hot out there. H-O-T. I realize it's summer and despite my adamant protestation, it's supposed to be hot, but this is unreal hot. The current temperatures are doing nothing to make me change my opinion of summer. When you read things such as "horrible air quality" "stay in doors between 12pm and 8 pm" and "heat index values to reach 118" loving summer is not the first thing to come to mind.

But, weather is weather and I cannot control it. Therefore, I'm simply doing my best to hide in my air conditioned house and stay hydrated. Of course, hydrating with 32 ounces of artificial colored, artificial flavored soda sweetened with artificial chemicals is probably the furthest thing from what the experts would suggest.

To which I say, who cares.

I'm hot and cranky and tired of sweating and I want a a bucket of diet soda. Speaking of sweating, I sweated an epic amount yesterday at the gym. My run was tragic and one that I'd like to forget for as long as I live, but I literally soaked my entire tank top, which was all kinds of awesome. Disgusting, but awesome all the same.

I'm sorry I felt compelled to share that with you.

That's what happens when you hide upstairs in your bedroom every afternoon. Adult contact is minimal, thus causing me to feel the need to over share here on the blog.

Moving along....when I was taking a picture of my super big gulp, I also took a picture of my milk carton. And why? You might ask. Well, I took a picture of it because I love the old school nature of the carton.

Doesn't it remind you of the good ol days?

And by the good ol days, I mean the 1980s. We're not talking the-milkman-delivering-the-milk-in-glass-bottle-days.

I'm not sure why this throwback type of container thrilled me so much, considering that all elementary schools have the miniature versions in their cafeterias. I suppose it just reminded me of being a kid, when milk didn't come in plastic jugs, but in cardboard containers that were often hard to open....and, not to mention, terribly hard to drink straight from. That little spout is impossible to drink neatly from. Not that I drink straight from the carton any more. That only happened in my youth when I was gross and entirely unaware of how germs are spread.

No, thank YOU, Trader Joes.

Hey, do you know what goes great along side milk (old school cardboard OR plastic containers)?

Why, cookies of course.

Speaking of childhood, I adore the Mother's brand version of these iced animal cookies. I don't buy them because I haven't any control when around them, but at Target the other day, I was completely incapable of resisting the temptation to add these to my basket.

For now, they're just sitting in my pantry. Once I open them, I fear I won't be able to control myself, eating handful after handful, reminiscing about the good old days. Who knows, the nostalgia of the moment just might lead me to drink straight from the carton.

Uninspired

2011-07-21T16:36:00.000-04:00

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That's me. Uninspired.

And hot. But not hott. Just plain sweaty.

I feel like at least once a week I produce a blog post which includes some sort of apology for not having anything to blog about. Of course, I shouldn't apologize for being tragic, because it's really beyond my control, but I feel I owe all thirteen of my readers something fresh and halfway inspired every now and then. What's a girl to do when she's bored and uninspired?

What's a girl to do when her only goal each day is to survive?

As easy as it seems, entertaining Caroline and her friends can wear me down. Nothing is quite good enough. Whatever we do is 'fun' but then thirty minutes later they're looking to do the next thing. I can't keep up. And it's hot. Hot weather makes me want to hibernate. I could tell you that most days I find myself laying on my bedroom floor in the mid afternoon, watching the Food Network and wishing I could blink and be someone else. I'm not sure what happens in the afternoon to make me feel this way. It's like an automatic switch flips from off to on, or something. In the morning, I'm refreshed, ready to workout and ready for the day. But by two in the afternoon I'm laying on the floor in a state of full-on woe is me.

Pity party for one.
An uninspired pity party for one.

Inspiration strikes at the oddest moments. Last night I was inspired to blog about pet names (and my inability to use them) but it was late and I wanted to get ready for bed. Today, I fired up the laptop in hopes of completing my thoughts on the topic, but I couldn't do it. I lost the momentum.

Hopefully it'll come back.

Can't keep all thirteen of you hanging!

;)

Foiled

2011-07-19T13:52:00.000-04:00

Foiled.

Caroline is in camp this week with her friend, Rachel. I woke on Monday ready to get in some quality gym time this week. No guilt. No extra money spent on ~~baby~~kid sitting.

It was going to be great.

Except my grand plans to achieve this desired blissful, endorphin-filled exercise utopia have been foiled. First by an unplanned and epically long power outage at my gym yesterday and second by a pulled muscle in my back. I wish I could tell you how I pulled the muscle, but I can't. Because I was doing nothing.

I pulled a muscle in my back while doing nothing.

How sad is that?

Is this what happens when you get old? Mysterious aches and pains, knees that crackle like you're stepping on a bag of potato chips, pulled muscles while sitting still. Depressing.

So, instead of feeling the burn and pumping crazy iron and visualizing punching people in the face, I bought groceries. In two days, I've been to four different grocery stores.

Again, I ask, how sad is that?

I sure hope I'm back in exercise condition tomorrow because my freezer, refrigerator and pantry are full.

Here's to hoping I don't break my toe while putting on my socks or twist my ankle while folding laundry.

Sucker

2011-07-17T14:09:00.000-04:00

Caroline and her friend, Rachel, have been on a sidewalk chalk kick lately. Their 'art' is currently embellishing the street in front of our house and also in my garage, because it's too hot to do the chalk thing when the sun is out in full force. In the evenings, they plop themselves smack dab in the middle of the street (I wish I was lying) and draw. Am I a responsible parent, or what?
The thing about sidewalk chalk is that it's not known for it's longevity. After a few scribbles on the rough pavement, the chalk breaks or gets whittled down to nubs within mere moments. As a result of Caroline and Rachel's efforts to keep our neighborhood streets decorated with rainbows and rocket ships, I was informed last night that we were down to a plastic container full of chalk nubs.

While we were out running some errands this morning, we bought some new chalk. Because any activity that brings them outside and in to the fresh air, is a winner in my book. I intended to purchase the big box for the girls, but somehow they convinced me that they needed both individual tubs like the ones pictured above and a 52 count box to share.

Why yes, I am a sucker.

But at least they're outside.

In other news: I have a cramp in my foot. I ran this morning and now I have a cramp in my foot. It hurts. I am not amused.

Also? Caroline is going to camp next week with Rachel and her sister Sarah.

Two words: Yee. Haw.

Weekends Edited

2011-07-16T11:31:00.004-04:00

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Confession time: I sort of hate the weekend. True story. As if I'm not backwards enough.

I suppose if I had a real job and did the whole working-commuting-rat race thing, I'd love the weekend. For those who spend 40 hours a week at a desk, the weekend brings with it rejuvenation and rest. But, as a stay at home mom for the past 9+ years, every day is pretty much the same, so a weekend day is just like any other. Except, for whatever reason, weekend days throw my schedule into a wonky tailspin.

I don't like having a wonky schedule.

I do, however, like receiving coupons in the newspaper on Saturday morning. But two measly coupon packets on Saturday morning isn't enough to make me enjoy the weekend any more. Especially on days such as today when I only received ONE coupon packet which didn't contain anything remotely interesting.

The radio station I listen to plays strange programming on Saturday mornings. The traffic is bad. The stores are crowded. I don't go to the gym.

It's just turrable.

Every birthday I get depressed, not necessarily because I'm getting older, but because I feel like I didn't enjoy myself enough the previous year. It's all a vicious circle: I thrive on schedule, routine and familiarity so when that is thrown off I get all bent out of shape and in my usual self-loathing fashion, I feel empty in the end because in my attempt to keep with the safe and familiar routine, I've missed out on having real live, actual FUN. But then I start to think that most people in my season of life probably have pretty boring lives, as well. At least I hope so; misery does love company, you now.

Actually, I think my problem is that I read these healthy living blogs written by childless twenty somethings who can do whatever they please whenever they wish. The can get up and run early and then spend the day wine tasting and shopping at the farmer's market. They can run in any race they want and travel as much as their little hearts desire. Hmmm, jealous, much? They don't have to worry about soccer schedules, being the only parent for two summers in a row, and making sure their kid sleeps in a bit on the weekend because she's worn herself out swimming and playing all week.

Clearly my life is far from horrible, but it's also far from free.

Perhaps I should stop reading these blogs if they're doing nothing but making me feel resentful and pathetic?

But, if I did stop reading them, I'd having nothing to ~~write~~ complain about. Ha!

Edited to add: Because the above text is quite downer-ish, I should add that today is a beautiful day. The sky is blue and filled with puffy white clouds; it's not too hot (and hardly humid at all), which makes me hate the weeekend a little less. However, we just came back from Kohl's. I never go there on Saturdays because everyone else goes there on Saturday; today was no exception. Caroline found a shirt that she liked last week when she was there with her friends and she wanted to show me. It was on sale, so I thought I'd buy it for her to wear to school in the fall. Unfortunately there were thirty other people in line and neither Caroline nor I wished to stand there for that long to save $8. We'll go back another time. Or better yet, I may buy it online.

Success on the High Dive

2011-07-14T18:43:00.000-04:00

We went back to the indoor pool today. After Monday's disastrous visit, I brought back the three girls who find jumping from the high dive to be a fun experience.

And fun they had.

They must have each jumped 50 times.

Another friend (and her two brothers) joined us, so I had their mom to talk to, which was nice.

I also had a conversation with one of the camp counselors, who was watching her bunch of camp kids from the side of the pool. She was also there on Monday and was one of the masses of people who tried to encourage Bailey to jump from the high dive. It was a fun conversation; she told me the woes of her life: in school, in work and in love.

I wish I had the troubles of a soon-to-be senior in college. :)

Speaking of woes.....I started to feel badly for bringing Caroline, Sarah and Rachel to the pool today, without Bailey, but I knew in my heart that she probably didn't want to go, anyway. But still, when you're nine, it's easy to get your feelings hurt when you're left out. Heck, it's easy to get your feelings hurt when you're 34, even when you know better. Also, I didn't want news to get back to Bailey's parents that I purposefully excluded her from the indoor pool excursion. If there is anything I've learned in my nine and a half years of parenting, it's that kids do not effectively relay the entire truth in most cases. I think they simply cannot remember and then retell ALL of the details. Perhaps it's a maturity thing?

Anyhow, I figured even if I told Bailey exactly why we were going to the pool without her, the only part she'd tell her parents was 'Alison said I couldn't go.'

So to prevent any sort of neighborhood rift, I called Bailey's dad and told him the whole story. And of course, he completely understood.

Whew.

It seems in my attempts to make everyone happy, I've made myself miserable.

I guess it'll all be okay. Bailey isn't mad. The girls got to jump on the high dive. And best of all, I bought them snacks from the vending machine.

Because nothing says summer like eating Cheez-Its in your bathing suit.

If The Tank Top Fits

2011-07-13T13:14:00.001-04:00

Buy it in every color!

I'm shamelessly addicted to these tank tops from Target. They're cheap ($6 on sale) and come in a variety of colors. Between last summer and now, I've purchased seven of them. Seven. Six are pictured above in a lovely array of blues, purples and greens. I also own a coral colored one, but it was in the wash when I took the picture.

It seems pretty excessive to own seven tank tops off the same style. In fact, not only does it SEEM excessive, it IS, in fact, excessive.

I have no shame.

Just like the seven similar tank tops hanging in my closet (among the other tank tops which will remain unpictured, lest you think I have some sort of shopping problem, ahem), I have a drawer full of workout tank tops.

Some women pledge their allegiance to Lululemon and Lucy activewear; I prefer the $4 ribbed tank tops from Walmart. Sure, they don't wick the sweat away like high end workout wear, but they're cheap, colorful and easily replaceable.

That picture above isn't great...I think the sun light was too bright...but I figured I'd share anyway.

I guess it could be worse, right? I could collect purses or shoes.

In other news, summer has only been out three weeks. It feels like it's been forever, but, it has, in fact, only been three weeks. It's a cruel world we live in.

I've been keeping the girls busy with our tour of every pool in Fairfax county, but there is only so much swimming they can do. Today we're taking a break from the pool, but tomorrow we're attempting the high dive again at the indoor pool. Yesterday we crashed my friend Mandy's pool and we're going back there on Friday for swimming and pizza.

Anything to fill up the days.

I feel like a camp counselor with my clip board of fun. It's hard to find affordable, fun activities for girls aged 9-12. We could hang out at the mall, I suppose, but I don't know about that. Last time we went to the mall, I had to go in to Hot Topic so Caroline's friend, Sarah, could look at fake glasses. It seems the fake glasses craze has come back in style; when I was a girl I wanted a pair of Sally Jesse Raphael round red glasses SO BADLY. I never bought any, probably because I figured I wasn't cool enough to pull off the fake glasses look, and I suppose it was for the best. I always wanted to be trendy as a kid, but never felt confident enough that I could pull it off. Come to think of it, I still feel that way today. Which explains my seven tank tops of the same style.

In all my years on this planet, I had never found any reason to step into a Hot Topic store. Have you ever been in Hot Topic? Obnoxious music. Obnoxious clothing. Apathetic multi-pierced sales person hunched over the counter. I'm not an old fogey by any stretch of the imagination, but I can't say that I felt totally at home in Hot Topic. My brand of boring, bland and vanilla can't compete with the obnoxious, loud and apathetic brand Hot Topic has to offer.

Would you expect anything different from someone who owns the same tank top in seven different colors?

Stories From The High Dive

2011-07-11T16:16:00.001-04:00

I took Caroline and three friends to the indoor pool at our local rec center this afternoon. We have a perfectly acceptable pool, which is FREE to use, right down the road, but the indoor pool, which costs $6.40 per person, was calling our names today. Actually, it was the diving boards which called our names. And I can't deny the fact that not having to deal with messy sunblock was a selling factor, as well.

There are three diving boards; two of normal height off the water and one high dive. Not platform diving high, but, still, very high. Caroline first jumped off the high dive when she was at camp two weeks ago and was eager to do it again. And again. And again.

Because I have nothing else to do with my time but entertain Caroline and her friends, and because I appear to be quite the self-loathing sadist/glutton for punishment, we all made the trip over to the pool this afternoon. But not before I arrived home from the gym to a hot cooked lunch waiting for me. Caroline and Sarah, who 'kid-sits' while I go to the gym, felt it was in their best interest to have lunch waiting for me so that they could get to the pool faster. They very eagerly made me an entire box of macaroni and cheese, a huge bowl of trail mix and a murky, sludgy green smoothie. I was touched by the sentiment, even though what they prepared might not be my usual lunch of choice. Ever.

It was sweet, though.

Anyway, we made it to the pool, paid our entrance fees and got settled in. First Caroline jumped. Then Rachel, followed by Sarah. Bailey was last. She's not a fan of heights and wasn't really enthusiastic about the whole jumping off the high dive thing. Still, she jumped, albeit hesitantly. And she was okay. I think she may have smiled after?

Then they went again without incident.

The third time Bailey jumped, she cried a little after, said she was scared and came and sat down with me. I told her she DID NOT have to jump off the high dive. The other girls were not pressuring her and were perfectly satisfied with her sticking to the low dive. I told her I would never jump off the high dive and that it was perfectly okay to be afraid. I figured what I said stuck with her and I continued to read my book while the girls swam and jumped.

A little while later I look up and there is Bailey on the high dive. She chickened out and wanted to back down, but for safety purposes (?) they don't let you do that. We encouraged her to jump but she wouldn't. She just stood there and cried. I felt bad for her, really, I did. But, she didn't have to get up there. No one made her. No one forced her against her will. For reasons I'll never understand, she climbed that ladder on her own. She cried for a while. We encouraged her to jump, but she wouldn't. A nice young man offered to wait in the water to 'catch' her but she refused. Thankfully the lifeguard came to her rescue and helped her down off the ladder.

She cried for quite a long time. I'm sure she was embarrassed.

I felt terrible for Bailey. I still don't understand why she went up there.

If I don't want to do something, I don't do it. Especially if it involves jumping off of high things or touching animals who don't have feet or fur.

Even though I am one of them, I don't think I'll ever understand girls.

We're a confusing lot.

Our afternoon at the pool was short lived and emotionally draining. We did stick around for a little bit to allow the other girls to jump. I told them I'll bring them back later in the week without Bailey. Somehow I doubt Bailey will mind being excluded from that trip!

We went for Slurpees after. Slurpees have an uncanny knack for cheering kids up.....especially when they're free.

source

Oh thank heaven for 7-11!

Chasing Girls On Bikes

2011-07-10T14:22:00.000-04:00

Yesterday evening, Caroline and her friends approached me with their sincerest and most eager, puppy dog faces. The moment I saw their faces and heard the sing-songy tone in their voices, I knew something was up.

And usually 'something' involves me taking them somewhere, usually some place where sugary treats or craft supplies are sold.

This time 'something' involved me taking them on a bike ride.

"Hey mom," my eager spawn said, "can you take me, Sarah and Rachel on a bike ride?"

"Sounds good," I said, "except, you know, I DON'T OWN A BIKE!"

"That's okay," she said. "You can walk behind us."

"Okay?" I replied.

For whatever reason, I agreed. I would have preferred to stay in the air conditioned house and watch reruns of The Gilmore Girls on SoapNet, which happens to be my favorite weekend activity, but I didn't have a real excuse to say no. I searched for one. Oh, how I tried. But I couldn't come up with one single solitary excuse as to why I couldn't walk behind a trio of bike riding girls. Also, I do try my best to not discourage kids from participating in any sort of physical activity.

They wanted to ride to 7-11 for a Slurpee, but I put the kibosh on that because it's hard to ride a bike home whilst drinking a Slurpee. And then I'd be stuck carrying them all home, which is something I did not want to do. And we sure weren't going to hang around 7-11 while they finished them.

Instead, I proposed a bike ride/walk to Dairy Queen.

My suggestion was met with an eager seal of approval. I mean, really? Who is going to turn down ice cream?

With bike helmets affixed to their heads and tires properly inflated, we took off on our evening adventure.

But first, I fired up my Gamin GPS so we could see how far our trek might take us.

Taking lots of twists and turns and stopping to ride up and down 'the big hill by the library' a few times we went nearly four miles in total. The girls biked up to the street corners and would wait for me to catch up before taking off again.

It was a nice way to spend the evening. ~~Exercise~~ Ice cream makes everything more enjoyable.

It was so enjoyable, in fact, that the girls decided that a bike ride Sunday morning would be equally as enjoyable. Only this time, "you can run behind us, mom."
Somehow I agreed again. And at 7:30 am this morning, we set out on another bike ride/run. They tried to convince me to run/bike to IHOP or Dunkin Donuts (again with the sweet stuff!), but I declined. My red faced, sweat drenched running attire is not suitable for public places.   I told them I'd make them a smoothie upon our return, which appeased them. Smoothies aren't doughnuts, but today, they'd have to do.

We went nearly five miles this morning.    It was hot and hilly but the girls were tough and, much to my surprise, complained remarkably little. While I much prefer running solo and without having to stop at numerous stop lights, I needed that run. I've started a very informal training plan for the half marathon I'm running in October and a five mile run was just what the training plan ordered.

When we returned home, the girls were wiped out; they sat on the couch for nearly two hours and I think one of them even fell asleep!

It didn't last long, though. After their down time, I was talked in to taking them to Claire's at the mall.

Again, I agreed.

They've got me wrapped around their sticky little fingers.

Look At Me....Always Thinking Ahead

2011-07-09T08:46:00.002-04:00

Chef Anne Burrell on the Food Network always says that as she's sharing with us her secrets to being a restaurant chef. But this post isn't about food. Instead, it's about colonial America costumes. Each year the fourth graders at Caroline's school host a Colonial Day celebration. The kids dress up and, I assume, do things that children in colonial times did. Honestly, I don't know what they do at the Colonial Day thing, but, like I said, they have to dress up.

Spider Man costumes are easy to come by. As are witch costumes and cheerleader costumes and, well, you get the idea. But colonial costumes? They're a little harder to find. If you're lucky, you know someone who was a fourth grader the previous year and you put dibs on their costume for next year. And if you're super lucky, you can sew one yourself.

We have neither dibs on a costume from last year nor the ability to sew one ourselves.

And where does that leave me? Besides panicking over colonial costumes in July?

Well, it leaves me purchasing a colonial girl costume, online, in July. Colonial day isn't until the fall sometime, but you know me, I like to be prepared. Always ~~obsessing~~ thinking ahead.

For the majority of our time living here, I didn't worry about securing a costume for Caroline because we were only supposed to be here for three years (1st-3rd grade). Clearly, that's not happening, thanks to Craig's current deployment. It's odd to think that we should be en route to a new duty station right now. I really love living here and the thought of moving, uprooting Caroline, and having to start over in a new place sounds most undesirable. I never thought I'd say it, but thank goodness for deployments. Although Craig might not concur! When it's time to leave, we'll be incredibly sad to leave our wonderful neighborhood, great friends and fabulous school. But most of all, I think I'll miss my gym the most.

I know that sounds incredibly shallow, but I can't help it. I ~~am incredibly shallow~~ love my gym.

Anyway, I was reading a blog post the other day in which the blog author linked to a costume site where she purchased a pilgrim costume for her kids' dress up supply. "A pilgrim costume?!" I said to myself. "I wonder if they have colonial costumes, too?" And sure enough, with one click of a hyperlink, I found myself buying Caroline a colonial costume for a school event that is still many months away.

I don't know whether to be proud of my forethought.... or ashamed. I mean, it's JULY! School doesn't start for two months. The fact that I purchased a costume for a one day event several months in advance is a true testament to the fact that 1.) I have no life 2.) I'm a neurotic freak 3.) I'm a neurotic freak with no life.

And I need a cookie.

Slacker Photog

2011-07-07T16:51:00.002-04:00

source

I should remember to bring out my camera more often because otherwise I'm forced to include stupid e-cards in my post. They're stupid, but funny. Often completely inappropriate, which makes them even funnier. Just so long as Caroline isn't reading over my shoulder; there are some things you just should not have to explain to a nine year old.

In today's quest to not go crazy during summer break, we went to the pool. Since Caroline's two friends had so much fun touring the Ft. Belvoir bowling alley yesterday (and patronizing the conveniently located Dunkin Donuts) we decided to try the Ft. Belvoir pool today. The pool has a big deep end, even bigger than our friend's pool in the neighboring subdivision. The girls wanted to practice their diving....and also to patronize the other Dunkin Donuts, which is also conveniently located close to the pool. Because coolattas make a hot summer day a little easier to tolerate.

Our time at the pool was short, probably because they wanted to go to Dunkin Donuts, but, they got some exercise and I had a chance to catch up on some reading.

And there you have it: our pitiful day in a nut shell.

Heaven help me, we're close to wrapping up our second full week of summer vacation.I think we have nine to go. I'm not sure I can find enough things to do to keep everyone happy, occupied and not tragically bored....all without sending them into a diabetic coma with repeated trips to Dunkin Donuts.

Help!

Thanks for letting me vent!

source

There Goes My Career As A Pro Bowler

2011-07-06T19:20:00.002-04:00

source

I took Caroline and two of her friends bowling today. Usually, I save bowling for the end of the summer when the kids are tired of the pool and, quite frankly, tired of each other. It seems that this summer is dragging along WAY TOO SLOW and our lackluster rectangular pool doesn't compare to the fun we have at the neighboring subdivision's pool. Unfortunately for us, our ticket to the exciting pool (with the real deep end where you can dive), is on vacation for the next two weeks. How rude!

So what is a desperate mom to do?

Why, she goes to the bowling alley, of course.

Besides, the weather is super yucky today; hot, cloudy and ridiculously muggy. What better way to spend a gross day than inside an air conditioned building throwing slick, heavy balls around?

Normally we all bowl with the special bumpers, which prevent every ball a kid bowls from ending up in the gutter. The bumpers are genius. Unless you like to hear kids cry after every gutter ball, that is. However, the bowling alley implemented a new system which prevents adults from using the bumpers. Boo Hiss.

I need the bumpers. No, really, I do. Caroline once beat me WITH the bumpers. That's how bad I am at bowling. Did I mention she was five at the time?

See, I told you.

Anyhoo, despite the realization that my bowling score was going to suffer horribly, thus ending any chance I had of becoming a professional bowler, I still held my own. I even bowled three strikes. AND I won a game! Yee haw! Caroline won the first game; Rachel won the last. Sarah didn't fair as well, but I think she was more interested in scoping out the pre teen boy crowd than focusing on her bowling. Oh to be twelve again!

Everyone seemed to have enjoyed themselves (save for a few self-pity filled pouty moments --no, not MINE) which was the goal. My one wish for Caroline and friends is that they really enjoy their young lives and create fun memories with their friends. They have their whole adulthood to worry about the details; for now, I just want them to have fun.

Before long they'll be the mom who is trying to survive summer break without having a nervous breakdown.

For now I just want them to be ~~quiet~~ kids.

Parenting: Just Wing It!

2011-07-05T16:37:00.001-04:00

All I can say is, thank goodness for my goody-two-shoes kid.

Like mother, like daughter.

So I learned last night that one of the girls at our crazy sleepover Saturday night told Caroline that she didn't need to tell her mom everything. The girl offering this tid-bit of information is the one who no longer lives in our neighborhood. Thank goodness. She's very mature for her age; a slick, mean-girl-in-training who is heavily influenced by an older brother and, in her younger years, a less than stable home life.

I've always felt a little uneasy around this girl and despite my better judgment, I agreed to allow her to sleepover. Sometimes she's still a sweet girl, but sometimes the growing-too-fast side appears and who knows what sort of information she'll bestow upon Caroline and her friends, who for the most part, are still innocent and completely oblivious to the ways of the world.

Obviously telling someone they don't have to tell their mom everything is innocuous in the grand scheme of things. She could have offered up something much more salacious, which would give cause for copious amounts of damage control. And not to mention, leaving me red faced and flailing about, trying to use the right words, as opposed to over reacting and making things worse. In our case, a quick reminder that we're supposed to do what we know is right, according to our parents, according to the law and according to God, even when we're encouraged to do otherwise, was all that needed to be said.

Caroline didn't tell me any of this, but the other sleep over participants told their mom, who then told me. When I approached Caroline about it, she said it was because I told them they couldn't put whipped cream on the face of the first girl who fell asleep. Caroline told them I said no and the other girl told her they should just do it and not tell me. Like I wouldn't find the remains of an empty whipped cream bottle or even worse, caked on dried whipped cream on my furniture.

Thankfully, Caroline held her ground.

Or, perhaps they all forgot about it during their obnoxiously loud sing along to the song stylings of one Justin Bieber?

All I know is that even on a good day I feel wholly unqualified to be a parent. Factor in the outside influences of children who have been taught a looser set of morals than I'm trying to instill in Caroline and I find myself even less qualified. And entirely out of my league.

Sometimes I think I have a handle on things; other times I literally close my eyes, cross my fingers and simply hope for the best.

Perhaps I should write a book about it? I can picture it now......Parenting: Just Wing It!

Poor Caroline. She deserves SO much better!

:)

Independence Day

2011-07-04T17:39:00.001-04:00

Happy 4th of July, yo!

Last year Caroline and I spent Independence Day flying to Florida. This year, our feet shall remain firmly planted on the ground.

We're doing a little of this

(source)

eating a little of that

(Source)

And hoping we don't have to make a trip to the emergency room due to sparkler induced trauma.

(Source)

No fancy firework extravaganza shows for us this year. No big crowds. No oohing and aahing.

We're laying low this year. Keeping it simple. This afternoon we crashed our friend's pool and in a few minutes, we're all meeting up at another friend's house for pizza and sparklers.

Sounds just perfect to me.

Hooray for freedom!

Hiding

2011-07-03T08:54:00.001-04:00

It's Sunday morning and I'm in desperate need of coffee, but I'm hiding up stairs.

There are five girls asleep in my living room and I don't want to wake them.

They went to bed late, around 1am, which for our sleepovers, is late. We started with four girls (including Caroline). As it started to get dark last night, two of them strapped on their roller skates and the other two grabbed their scooters. Together, decked out and embellished with those glow sticks you can turn into bracelets and necklaces, they rolled around the neighborhood, creating their very own light show.

It's good to be a kid.

Somewhere along the way, another girl joined in. This girl used to live in our neighborhood, but moved a few miles away last summer. But still, her mom's soon to be husband's mother lives across the street from us (!), and they were visiting. Somehow Kyleigh joined in and was soon a part of the sleepover.

The girls had a ball, but their usually tame sleep over, turned rather loud and rambunctious. One extra girl made all the difference. Or perhaps it was that particular extra girl.

All I know is that Justin Bieber songs and many other Top 40 hits were being belted at the top of their lungs at midnight. There were slap fights and someone got bitten. All playfully, of course.

There was talk of putting whipped cream on the first girl who fell asleep (how cliche) but I put the kibosh on that. "No whipped cream on my couch" is a rule I strictly adhere to.

Despite the uncharacteristic raise in decibel levels and the later than usual bed time, the girls had fun. No one got hurt, so I suppose I shouldn't complain too much.

I still would really like to drink some coffee. If the living room wasn't so closely connected to the kitchen I would. If our stairs weren't creaky, I might. But at this point, having five peacefully sleeping girls trumps caffeine.

Eventually I'll be released from my bedroom floor prison and the caffeine can flow freely through my veins. Until then, I should probably enjoy the silence.....because it won't last long.

Happy Sunday!

It's July!

2011-07-01T14:56:00.000-04:00

Normally I'm kind of sad when a new month begins because it generally means that time is flying way too quickly and I'm getting older, wrinklier and closer to 40 than I'd like. However, in the summer months (aka the months I detest with the passion of a million fiery suns), I'm practically giddy as I flip over the calendar page. The faster the hot, children-out-of-school months pass, the happier I am.

Oh, and please note that while I complain endlessly about summer break, I do, in fact, love my kid. I'd hate for anyone to think otherwise.

Besides the fact that I'm happy it's July 1, I really have nothing to report. Last July 1st I had something to report: it was the day Craig got promoted.

But today?

Well, not much is going on.

I bought a watermelon today. And some paper towels. I paid the bills (holla to online bill paying) and am currently sitting on my couch, feet propped up, and diet pepsi at my side. Not exactly blog worthy. So instead of rambling on about nothing, I will keep this short and sweet.

But before I hit publish, let me get one thing off my chest: fruit is not dessert!

It just isn't. Stop trying to tell me otherwise.

I adore fruit. I eat a lot of it. It's tasty. It's refreshing. It's nutrient dense.

But fruit IS NOT DESSERT.

Fruit may be a part of dessert, if cake, ice cream or pie are involved. But by itself, fruit is not dessert.

Can I get an amen?

Check Your Control At The Door

2011-06-30T15:14:00.001-04:00

Uh oh.

Busted.

I went to Trader Joe's for almond butter

and somehow three bags worth of food wound up in my cart.

I hate when that happens.

I got some fun stuff, though. Well, depending on your definition of FUN.

Yellow zucchini is fun, right?

Not to be confused with yellow crookneck squash. Caroline doesn't like yellow squash much, but she loves zucchini. I think they're pretty much the same thing, but she notices a difference. Perhaps yellow zucchini will suit all of her veggie desires?

I fed Caroline and her friends some Spaghetti Os for lunch the other day (classy, no?) and they acted like it was the best lunch ever.

I'm glad they're so easily amused.

Caroline and friends might have fallen in love with Spaghetti Os (or their organic counterpart), but I can't help but be attracted to baskets full of little plums.

I'm easily amused, too.

I'm going crunchy again; I bought some vegetarian friendly protein today.

I've cooked both tempeh and tofu once before with extremely unsuccessful results. I'm hoping these tasty looking sauces help me whip up something a bit more palatable.

ugh! sorry for the fuzzy, crooked picture

I'll let you know how that turns out.

In other news, I'm doing a two-a-day at the gym today. Because I'm hardcore like that. ;) My gym is introducing a new 30 minute core workout called CX30; there is a sneak preview class this evening. I didn't intend on going because 1) I never exercise in the evening and 2) I would hate to drag Caroline there after a full day of camp. One of the trainers convinced me I should give it a try, so I asked my 12 year old neighbor if she'd like to earn a little extra cash by keeping an eye on Caroline.

Naturally, she agreed. Who wouldn't want to earn a few easy bucks?

Caroline is an easy charge.

I actually have Sarah lined up to kid-sit Caroline a few days next week so I can go to the gym. I'll end up paying three times as much for Sarah's services as I would for child care at the gym, but it's a better fit. For all parties. Everyone wins! Hooray! Caroline doesn't have to go to the Kids Zone, Sarah earns a few bucks and I can exercise guilt free. The only one who loses is Craig because I'm paying Sarah with his hard earned money.

:)

And What Is The Lovliest Four Letter Word In The English Language?

2011-06-29T13:33:00.000-04:00

Camp.

C-A-M-P.

It has a lovely ring to it, no?

I have myself a reprieve from summer chaos this week. Amen and hallelujah to that.

Back in the spring, Caroline's friend, Alayna, chose this Extreme All Girls camp out of the parks department catalog. Alayna and her two brothers each got to pick a camp, and this is the one she chose. Alayna's mom approached me with the idea of the girls doing it together; there is a daily swim time in the Olympic sized indoor pool and Alayna's mom felt more comfortable sending her daughter if she had a buddy to hang with, especially during swim time.

Caroline, an adventurous girl who is up for anything, immediately agreed. So I signed her up.

Two weeks ago, Caroline's friend Rachel expressed interest in attending the camp, too. The girls were all fired up about the idea of the three of them going together. However, Rachel's mom is a busy woman and hadn't had the time to register her. On Sunday, the day before camp was to start, Rachel was still gung-ho with the camp idea and all we needed was for her mom to actually register her. In the mean time, their friend Bailey also expressed interest, so I emailed the info to her dad. He quickly said no, because the camp is pricey at $255 for the week. I can't say that I blame him.

And this is where my Sunday afternoon took a turn for the dramatic....

Since Bailey couldn't go and would (naturally and understandably) feel left out if the other three girls went to camp without her, she somehow managed to convince Rachel that if she went to camp, there was no guarantee that she would be in the same group as Caroline and Alayna. Immediately, Rachel called her mom and told her she didn't want to go to camp any more. I then got on the phone and told Cindy that I was 100% certain that Bailey had done something to change Rachel's mind. Come to find out, Bailey also told Rachel that if she didn't go to camp, her dad would take the two of them to Busch Gardens some day this week!

Sigh.

I'm so not capable of dealing with all this girl stuff.

Being the narc that I am, I told Cindy all of this. She said she'd talk to Rachel and give me a final answer that evening. At 9 pm, the phone rang and it was Cindy telling me that Rachel would not be going to camp, not because of what Bailey had done, but because her husband also felt the $255 camp fee was a bit steep.

It was a long day of roller coaster ups and downs.

Which does nothing for my feeble attempts to become zen.

I don't know much, but I do know this: parenting is not conducive to zen-like living.

Need Some Pasta?

2011-06-28T14:35:00.000-04:00

Please do not submit my name to that Hoarders show.

Relax, it's just 27 boxes of pasta. Twenty seven FREE boxes of pasta.
No big deal.

I'm waiting for a food drive to donate most of it, but how could you reasonably expect me to pass over a free pasta deal? I mean, really? Free! Pasta! What could possibly be better than that?

Except free chocolate and coffee. Wouldn't that be sweet?

In other news, I'm losing my marbles. I'd tell you all about it, but it's really quite ridiculous and I fear that upon this realization, one of you might have me committed. Then I'd have to change my blog name from the Neurotic Housewife to the Medically Sedated Housewife.

I don't want to change my blog name.

And I most certainly do not want to be medically sedated.

I do, however, wish I didn't spend the majority of my days worrying about ridiculous things which are all beyond my control. You'd think after nearly 35 years on this planet I'd have given up by now, but it appears that my desire to waste my life worrying, fretting and over analyzing EVERYTHING has only accelerated with age.

I would really hate to see what my insides look like. A lifetime of guilt, worry, fear and anxiety coupled with hundreds of gallons of ingested caramel colored, chemical laden diet soda has probably rendered my insides unrecognizable. Hopefully all the exercise I do has reversed some of that damage.

In an effort to, you know, not die young, I've been trying to take a more 'zen' approach to life, but that only works when I'm in between things to worry about. Evidently, I cannot be zen when I'm actually worried about something, which totally defeats the purpose. Green tea isn't helping, either.

I'm a zen failure.

Big Berries. Crazy Carrots.

2011-06-26T12:28:00.000-04:00

I feel like I've been neglecting ye olde blog lately. When you see what I'm about to blog about, you'll know why. I have NOTHING to say.

Nothing.

Nada.

Zip. Zero. Zilch.

So, I took pictures of my mutant blackberries.

I'm not sure what the blackberry farmers sprayed on their blackberry bushes to achieve such enormous berries. Actually, I probably don't want to know.

Ignorance is bliss.

Especially where pesticides, miracle grow and mutant blackberries are concerned.

In other anomalous food tales, I found something interesting in my shredded carrot bag. I know it's a total rip off and frugal failure to buy pre shredded carrots, but I like them. It's easy to throw them in salads and I don't have to locate my vegetable peeler or risk grating the skin on my knuckles on the box grater

Look what I found in the bag!

How did that squeak by quality control?

In other news, I have no other news.

Boo.

Pool Crashers

2011-06-24T16:22:00.001-04:00

Guilty as charged.

We're pool crashers. Twice in one week. Twice in two days, actually.

Our subdivision has a pool. It serves its purpose. It's wet, refreshing, maintained and safe. But....it's boring. Just a rectangle, with a 'deep end' which doesn't exceed a depth of five feet. Regardless of our pool's size and excitement factor, or lack thereof, we go there frequently. I mean really? What else are we going to do?

But see, the next subdivision over has a big pool, with a REAL deep end. And the lifeguards play music. The grass is always greener....as they say. Or in this case, the pool is always cooler in the neighboring subdivision.

Well, lucky for us, we have friends who live in this subdivision and they have guest passes to the pool. On Wednesday we met our friends, plus another set of friends, plus Caroline's two friends who tagged along and we had ourselves a great time. Maybe it was just our rowdy bunch, or perhaps the lifeguards were whistle happy that day, or in the mood to enforce the rules, but for whatever reason, our kids sure got the whistle blown on them frequently.

And then my precious child threw a small rock (as a part of a game they were playing) which hit the metal railing by the stairs you use to enter and exit the pool. The noise that rock made magnified throughout the entire pool area and scared my poor friend who, happened to be sitting next to the railing.

Sheesh almighty!

Caroline stood there, completely paralyzed by fear. If you could have only seen the panic stricken look on her face; it was priceless.

No one was hurt, thankfully, but I sure was afraid we were going to be asked to leave....and to never return.

Despite Caroline's act of delinquency, it all ended well, and we were not banned from the pool. In fact, it went so well that we fully intend on crashing that pool again and again, until our friend's guest pass card is all filled up.

Yesterday, we kept with the theme and crashed pool number two. But no rocks were thrown.

This time we visited my friend, Mandy, who just moved into the area. Her house is very conveniently situated right next to her community's brand new pool. Talk about prime real estate.

Anyway, Caroline and I spent the afternoon at Mandy's pool. Caroline swam with Mandy's kids while us moms gossipped under an umbrella and shared the woes of our tragic white girl problem filled lives.

Fun was had by all!
And today, believe it or not, we're not at the pool. Caroline is attending a friend's birthday party; it started at 1pm and is a sleepover, so I pretty much get a free day. And what did I do to celebrate my afternoon of freedom? Well, I went to Walmart for computer paper and to Safeway for .99/lb grapes and tomtatoes. And a great deal on Goldfish crackers: four bags for a total of $1.80!

Living it up!

I actually thought about going out later on, like in the early evening, you know, to spice things up a bit and make use of my free evening, but that seemed too strange. Only cool people go out on Friday nights. And I, as you very well know, am not cool.

Not. At. All.

Happy Friday!

Tired Week

2011-06-23T09:26:00.001-04:00

I've had a strange week. A LONG, strange week. It's only Thursday, but my energy is spent and I feel like this week has lasted a month.

That's summer break in a nutshell, I suppose.

Because of this crazy week and an all encompassing feeling of exhaustion, I'm having trouble thinking of things to blog about. You've heard enough about my whining about summer break. You've heard my cries of desperation and my general feelings of doom, gloom and malaise. What more could I tell you?

The truth is, at this moment, while I physically feel like I'm in my usual spunky, fighting mode, emotionally I feel spent. I realized this week that 1.) I am way too invested in Caroline's friendships, which is neither healthy for me nor Caroline and 2.)  You can't always be a people pleaser.

As the parent of an only child, I worry that Caroline will always have good, solid, healthy friendships. Because if she doesn't, then she'll be lonely and it'll be my fault because I chose not to give her any siblings. Therefore, I worry incessantly about these relationships, which is dumb. And also? Caroline doesn't give a flip about any of it; she just wants to have a good time. So I spend my time worrying and fretting and beating myself up and she's off having the time of her life.

It just makes me very tired.

But on the other hand, we have a neighborhood full of kids and other friends just down the road. She's not lacking in the playmate department, but since I'm a Chicken Little-Eeyore hybrid, I still worry.

Because it's just what I do.

And you never know....the sky just might fall one day.

Along with learning that I cannot be a people pleaser all the time, I'm also learning the value of keeping my mouth shut. I was in a situation this week where I wanted to say some things that I knew I'd eventually regret. It's hard to filter your words, especially when you're both mad and hurt.

Practicing restraint is tiring.

In other news:  can you believe it's 9:22 am and Caroline is STILL sleeping. This is a Smith Family record! We spent a ton of time at the pool yesterday; all that swimming and the scorching sun must have really wiped her out. It's good that she's catching up on sleep this morning because we're off to the pool again today with a friend, followed by a sleepover birthday party tomorrow and another birthday pool party on Saturday.

Caroline's life is tiring.

:)

EDITED to add: Caroline woke up a few minutes after I published this. When I asked her what she wanted for breakfast, she requested pancakes.   And then she said, 'can you make the pancakes soft, light and fluffy, please?'

Feeding Caroline is tiring.

NOT The Happiest Day of the Year

2011-06-21T13:45:00.002-04:00

I think she's mocking me.

Or, maybe that's what kids these days call 'dancing'?

Whatever you call it, Caroline was in fine spirits this morning.

The sky may have been grey and dreary,

but Caroline's spirits were soaring.

Who doesn't love the last day of school?

After a quick trip to the gym and an even quicker trip to the post office to mail Craig his running shoes, I met Caroline after school dismissed at 11am. Naturally, she was filled with excitement and came bearing a report card full of Os. Next year they move to letter grades. That's a big step in one's elementary school career.

Good news! Caroline is moving on to the fourth grade.

To tell you the truth, I was a little worried she might not make it. ;)

Wait....that was only if she were being promoted to the next grade based on dance moves alone.

I started wondering this morning if perhaps my expressed verbal displeasure regarding the end of the school year might give Caroline a complex. I think she knows I'm (mostly) kidding with her, but I'd hate for her to get the wrong impression. And then I started remembering that my mom also mourned her freedom lost at the end of each school year and then a few months later, vociferously celebrated her renewed freedom on the first day of school.

And look how normal I turned out.

;)

Fluffer-Nutter-Ella

2011-06-20T16:48:00.002-04:00

The trifecta of yum.

Caroline and I went to Target yesterday. I needed to buy just 'something' because I needed to use my debit card to get cash back. I ended up buying $80 worth of somethings, but that is beside the point. It was all necessary, though: stuff to send Craig, a birthday present for Caroline's friend, a 4th of July tshirt for Caroline. And some other stuff, too. Like a Nerf gun. Because every nine year old girl needs a Nerf gun. Anyway, for reasons still unknown, I saw a jar of marshmallow creme and without thinking, I put it in our cart.

Impulsive to the max.

Like, totally.

I can count on half of my hand how many times I've purchased marshmallow creme in my life. Two times. Yesterday was the second time ever that I purchased marshmallow creme. The first time was for a recipe, I think. And today? Well, who knows why.

Caroline was excited by the purchase. She's a big fan of sugary fluff. I told her we'd make fluffernutters. Because every kid needs a fluffernutter.

Except, instead of a fluffernutter on bread, I got out the graham crackers.

And before I did the peanut butter/marshmallow combo, I spotted the Nutella and went a different direction. A direction towards yum-ville.

Behold the Fluffer Nutella. Or the Fluffer-ella?

Ooooh. Ahhhh.

We went the traditional route, too.

I think next time I'll combine all three for a fluffer-nutter-ella.

And then the world can end. Because, it couldn't really get any better than that.

Father's Day All Star Soccer Tournament

2011-06-19T13:01:00.001-04:00

We had so much fun at Caroline's All-Star soccer tournament this weekend.

Even though it was hot.

Really. Hot.

Like, super duper, we just may melt, HOT.

Even still, Caroline still showed us her moves.

Did I mention it was hot?

We were still smiling, though.

You know what makes playing two games in the scorching summer sun all day even better?

A ball on a string!

Who needs a dog when you have a ball on a string. Hey, Caroline, go walk your ball.

The Purple Patriots won both of their games on Saturday. Caroline scored a goal in the second game. She's not generally a goal scorer, so you can only imagine her delight in being able to help her team out.

This morning we met on the field again, at 8 am. The clouds blanketed the sky, which made the conditions so much more favorable. Even the steady, light drizzle was okay. Compared to yesterday, ANYTHING was more enjoyable.

It's so much easier to run when you're not at risk for heat stroke!

Even with a wardrobe malfunction, Caroline was able to show off her skillz this morning.

This isn't a great picture (need a better zoom lens), but this direct kick Caroline took (due to the opposing goalie's hand ball violation) resulted in her second goal.

In the end, the girls lost this morning's game, so their tournament is over. Had they won, they'd be playing again at 1:15.

It would have been nice to win it all, but the girls had fun, and that is what matters most. As a plus, we met some great new friends.

Hopefully we'll do it again next year.

Five Things Friday

2011-06-17T16:50:00.004-04:00

Despite the fact that I often complain about my uneventful life, I've actually been quite busy lately. Not busy in the earning lots of money in a lucrative career sort of way; not in the curing cancer or volunteering to help the homeless kind of way. I've been busy Neurotic Housewife style: gym, coffee, shopping. You know, busy in the shallow kind of way.

Although, I did donate money to two different cancer charities at two different stores today. Guess I am helping cure cancer. You know, by purchasing groceries and a pink basket for Caroline's room.

Anyway, I've been pressed for time these past couple of days. Which thusly (is that a word?) explains this post of five bulleted points of nonsense.

I got to meet up with an old friend yesterday. Mandy, my first ever Army wife friend, and her family just moved in to the area. We haven't seen each other in over ten years, since our days spent in Hawaii, working together, chatting, watching The Real World and doing 8 minute Ab videos. Oh, to be young again. Thanks to the miracle of email, Facebook and blogging, we've been able to keep in touch the past couple of years. It was great catching up with Mandy and I cannot wait to spend more time with her and her three girls. Plus, they have a pool right next to their house. What more could I ask for?
I had coffee with my gym friends for a final time before school lets out. (Insert cries of despair) We meet at Great Harvest, a fabulous bread shop, drink coffee, taste free bread samples and gossip away. You'd be surprised by the amount of juicy, gossip-worthy, stuff that happens in the gym. Also, at the request of Caroline, I brought home a loaf of cheddar garlic bread. It's awesome. Hopefully we won't eat through the entire loaf in two days.
Two more days of school left. Boo. Hoo. I spent the majority of my afternoon running around getting end of the year teacher gift cards. Caroline has two main teachers, plus one full time assistant. I got the teachers gift cards to the movies and Noodles and Company; for the assistant, a gift card to Kohls.
I actually did a lot of shopping today. So much, in fact, that my debit card was smoking by the time I concluded my final transaction. They were mostly necessary purchases, like the gift cards and a few summer workbooks to help keep Caroline's memory fresh. The end of the school year is expensive. So it my shopping habit. A habit which is fueled by my endless search for the perfect _______. I'll never be happy. I always want to change something. Or upgrade. Or reorganize. Or freshen things up.
Soccer tournament tomorrow. Two games in the hot sun (11:45 and 3:45), followed by an 8 am game on Sunday. Perhaps another game at 1:15, depending on how well they fare in the first three games.

Happy Friday!!

Books 'n Pans

2011-06-15T17:05:00.000-04:00

I'm practically as giddy as a school girl because recently I've had the opportunity to introduce Caroline to some of my favorite childhood books. Together, we read through the Ramona Quimby series a few years ago, which I loved as much the second time around as the first. But now that Caroline is older and capable of reading chapter books on her own (she's on number seven of the Harry Potter Series), I'm so happy that The Baby-Sitters Club books have made a reappearance. For quite some time, they were noticeably absent from library and book store shelves, but for whatever reason, they're back, baby.

I grabbed one from the library shelves a few weeks ago and, just as I did, over twenty years ago, Caroline read it with gusto. The Scholastic Book Club had a set of 6 for $24 in their last school flyer, so I quickly placed an order. And tacked on book number seven, for good measure.

Now Caroline has some summer reading material.

I have a confession to make. I've been a little extra indulgent on the shopping front lately. I lack nothing; I need nothing; I should buy nothing. And yet, I've been hitting the stores like it's my job.

A part of me is yearning for some freshening up. Another part of me knows that during the summer, I won't have the opportunity to shop much because Caroline is NOT a willing shopping buddy, so I'm storing up my shopping, like a squirrel gathers nuts for the winter. Actually, it's probably good that I won't shop much for the next few months. It's not like I need anything, anyway. The bank account shall thank me.

However, I did, kinda sorta need these new pans.

Excuse the horrible picture, please.

Would you care to wager a guess as to how much I paid for these three pans?

Did you guess .98?

Yep, .98.

Don't worry, I'm not some sort of bargain hunting wizard. I earned some Amazon.com gift cards from my credit card and redeemed them to purchase some new cookware. My current skillets are quite tragic looking; they're well loved, well used and well...they've seen better days.

I love this one. It's huge. And deep. It's oven safe, too.

Totally worth .98.

Totally.

Clumps and Stumps

2011-06-14T19:31:00.000-04:00

When it comes to being a kid, Caroline is fairly typical: messy, energetic and loud. While most kids turn their noses up at even the thought of ingesting a green vegetable, Caroline asks for them. She may leave her things scattered about and she might have to be reminded more than once to perform even the most perfunctory personal upkeep tasks, but that girl of mine sure loves her vegetables.

My palate may be a bit more adventurous than Caroline's, but our tastes and food preferences are really quite similar. Our diets are predominantly comprised of our four favorite food groups: vegetables, carbs, cheese and chocolate.

From a very young age, Caroline has chosen, without any prompting, broccoli as one of her favorite foods. I mean, she still loves Doritos, syrupy, sickeningly sweet, sweet tea, and things colored with red dye#40. She asks for chocolate with a glass of chocolate milk for dessert and would dip everything in syrup or Nutella if allowed. She does not have a perfect diet, but at least I don't have to remind her, or plead with her, to eat her veggies.

Up until recently, we mainly ate frozen broccoli, but now we both prefer fresh to frozen, which has been 'steamed' for a few minutes in the microwave to eliminate that overly cruciferous bite and then quickly sauteed in olive oil and seasoned with salt and pepper.

Over cooked broccoli is tragic.

And we both love the clumps

and the stumps.

How many nine year olds eagerly snatch a few sliced up broccoli stems to eat as her mom prepares dinner?

Now....if only I could convince her that fruit snacks aren't 'healthy' because they have the word fruit in their name.

Bowl of Cherries

2011-06-13T14:15:00.003-04:00

Literally.

I suppose the saying 'life is just a bowl full of cherries' could apply to my life, but I don't even really know what it means.

I like cherries. So, when your life is bowl full of them, I assume that's a good thing.

But Craig doesn't like fresh cherries. I know! So perhaps he wouldn't want his life described as a bowl full of them.

While we're on the subject of trite sayings, 'pretty please, with a cherry on top' comes to mind when I see this picture.

Honestly, though, I just like cherries. Plain and simple. Caroline, too.

I'm pretty sure she's a fan of eating any fruit which requires spitting out the pit. These days, with seedless watermelons more common than the seeded variety, kids don't know the fun of spitting out those little black seeds.
I'm sort of over that phase of my life, though. Come to think of it, spitting has never caused me great joy. Am I a dud, or what? I appreciate seedless watermelons, however, my love for cherries shall never cease, even though navigating around little pits is a bit of a (messy) hassle. And, not to mention, entirely unlady-like, as well. We all know that I'm nothing if not a lady.

In other news, the weather is lovely today. Eighty degrees and breezy. The oppressive heat we felt this weekend is gone for a few days, and I couldn't be happier. The air conditioning is off; the windows are open; my hair is a mess from the affects of the breeze.

I had a really hard workout this morning and am relaxing on my couch in front of an open window. Soon we'll head to soccer practice, but until then, I shall enjoy some sitting.

A maybe a few cherries, too.

Sunday Morning Miscellaney

2011-06-12T08:28:00.000-04:00

Just a few odds and ends on this Sunday morning.

Yesterday marked the end of soccer season. The girls played their last game in the HOT sun and they won. Caroline got hit in the face in the first quarter, but thankfully none of her teeth were affected. Her lip hurt and then she said her ears hurt when she bit down. She rested a bit and went back in to the game and by the end, she was feeling fine.

One of the moms, a former soccer player, said a few weeks ago, "you're not a real soccer player unless you've been smacked in the mouth." I guess Caroline qualifies as a real player now!

We still have All-Star practice and the tournament, but other than that, we're done until the fall.

This year Caroline's league fielded two teams from her division for the All Star tournament. They divided the teams into third and fourth graders. The third grade team, Caroline's (and her friends, Jenna and Jordan) team, is practicing once...and then the coach will decided if they need any more practice. The fourth grade team has already practiced three times and will practice today and all of next week. They're running laps, doing drills, sprinting, etc... Obviously that coach is ultra hardcore.

We have a much more laid back approach to soccer and thankfully, Caroline's coach feels the same way.

Following yesterday's game, we met at the coach's house for a bbq. They live in an older home, not of the non-descript, postage stamp sized lot, subdivision type of house. They have a real yard. A gorgeous, tree filled, hydrangea blooming, grass covered lawn. The kids had a blast. I made peanut butter cup brownies and blissful snickerdoodle blondies. Ebony was pleased to be working again, even though she's been temporarily retired.

I was happy to be baking, too. I kind of miss it.

Caroline's friend got an ipod touch for making the softball All Star team, which she brought it over last night to show Caroline. She was not showing off at all, she was just really excited, but of course, Caroline was both impressed and jealous.

She's now saving her money to buy one for herself.

In an effort to make some extra cash, Caroline asked if she could do some chores around the house. I told her I'd pay her $5 a week if she'd just keep her clothes--pajamas, dirty clothes, wet bathing suits, OFF OF THE FLOOR. It's a constant battle and one that causes me great distress. I'm even buying her a cute hamper for her room so that maybe she'll be more inclined to use it.

I also threw in an extra buck a week if she'd put her shoes in the shoe basket.

We'll see.

Only one full week of school left.

Waaaaahhhhhhh!!

They go to school next Monday for their usual half day and then on Tuesday, June 21, for two hours and fifteen minutes. Seriously, school is releasing at 10:55. As dumb as I think that is, I'm using those last two hours and fifteen minutes to my full advantage, because at 10:55 on June 21, I shall wave a tearful good bye to my freedom.

Waaaahhhhhh.

Actually, Caroline is going to a girls camp with her friend, Alayna, the following week, so I'm not really giving up my freedom until July 1.

Okay, enough miscellaneous gabbing for now. Time to rustle up some breakfast for Caroline. Then we have a laundry hamper to buy.

Happy Sunday!

Aloha

2011-06-11T07:24:00.000-04:00

It was Island Day at Caroline's school yesterday.

When you have the word Island in your school's name, Island Day is not only appropriate, but entirely necessary.

Second grade Island Day:

It's like deja vu all over again.

Except this year, Caroline did her own hair. I'm just sayin...

Oh, and the outdoor pictures, in the bright morning sun, resulted in some sinister looking eyes. I promise, she's not giving you (or me) the stink eye, or plotting some sort of evil scheme; the sun was in her eyes.

Also? Those legs and feet of hers? All Craig's. Well, minus the pink skort and pink flip flops, of course.

I wonder where she got the attitude?

:)

Shattered Jar

2011-06-09T20:57:00.003-04:00

Let me tell you a story about a girl and her obsessive pursuit to acheive optimal pantry ~~utopia~~ organization. And how things can go very, very wrong.

There is some sort of hanging shelving rack on the inside door of our pantry. On one of the shelves, I ~~have~~ had three glass jars. Two jars were identical (Trader Joe's almond butter) and one was a little shorter and a little wider (with an unknown origin, but I'm sure it was something I ate).

I had drink mixes in two of the jars and straws in the other. However, the jars containing the drink mixes were not the identical ones; for some reason I noticed that fact this morning and fixated on it for far too long. Instead of standing in front of the pantry, mouth agape, wondering how I could ever let this happen, I sprung into action. I put the straws in the shorter, wider jar and tried to distribute the drink mixes between the two identical jars.

Notice I said TRIED.

As I was happily assuaging my obsessive desires, one of the jars came crashing to the ground. Glass shards scattered about my kitchen floor, making a potentially harmful situation, thereby destroying my perfectly organized pantry state of bliss.

It was tragic.

And now I have two non-identical jars housing the straws and drink mixes and a garbage can full of broken glass.

Someday I'll leave well enough alone. Someday.

While we're on the organization topic, yesterday I tackled my pantry shelves. AGAIN. It seems like I'm always doing this. What do you expect? It's not like I have a life, or anything.

I bought some shelf liner, hoping that it would spiff things up a bit.

Because THIS is what the shelves look like in their au naturale state.

Gross, right?

So far the shelf liner is working, even though I had to use the staple gun to keep it in place. And yes, I said to heck with my fear of the staple gun; having a well organized pantry is worth facing even your most ridiculous fears.

In other news, I bought these popsicle molds in the dollar section at Michaels today.

They have a little straw on the end, presumably so you can drink up all the drips, instead of letting them trickle down your arm and on to the floor.

Not a bad idea, at all.

The molds were actually .50 because, unbeknownst to me, everything in that spot was on sale today.

I bought three of them,

and found it amusing that they felt the need to clarify serving size on the packaging.

I'm no Einstein, but it's pretty easy to figure out that a package of two popsicle molds would yield two popsicles.

Now I have to figure out what to put in the molds. I'm thinking homemade Jell-O pudding pops.

Yes?

I Finally Made Up My Mind

2011-06-08T19:54:00.000-04:00

Remember a few weeks ago when I complained like a big old princess about having to make a choice between two TV stands? White girl problems and such. Well, you'll be quite relieved to know that not only did I make a decision (the more expensive one that matches my furniture), but I also ordered it, dragged all of its heavy parts up the stairs and put it together.

please ignore that strange sticky blotch on the left side; I didn't notice it until after I uploaded the pictures; it's gone now

Now your life can go on.

And so can mine.

Maybe.

Can you see me?

I like it. It's clean and simple and now the TV sits higher up so that the foot board of our bed doesn't obstruct our view any more. Because that's much more tragic a situation than any human should ever have to endure.

Honestly though, anything is better than our former make shift TV stand. A very old, very beat up nightstand covered with a table cloth. Trust me, it wouldn't have made the cover of Better Homes and Gardens.

Clearly this is all superfluous detail, but I do find great satisfaction in getting rid of our shabby (NOT shabby chic) junk and replacing it with more grown up things.

Next up: a new laundry hamper. Something stylish (if possible) and not plastic.

Let the shopping/debate/ridiculous over thinking begin!

Time To Get Reacquainted With The Post Office

2011-06-07T16:37:00.002-04:00

It's time again.

Time to say hello to the friendly postal workers at the post office near my gym. And yes, they really are friendly. No really, I promise. Happy postal workers are hard to come by, but they're generally quite jolly in this particular location.

Time to say hello to sturdy white boxes

and insufferable packing tape.

Time to reacquaint myself with customs forms, which are the most annoying part of the whole process.

Anyone who has sent a care package to a service member overseas will agree. They give you one little space with four lines to itemize all of the items in the box. That's not enough room.

Also? I totally fib. I never know how much everything costs and I certainly cannot estimate the weight. Don't rat me out, okay?

Time to gather up the goodies and send them on their merry way, across a big ocean and into the hands of a Crystal Light drinking, peanut butter loving, Lara Bar eating dude.

In case you haven't caught on, Craig has made the long trek to his ~~exotic~~ deployment locale. After months of training and traveling from Texas to Maryland and to Georgia and then back to Texas, he is finally settling in for a year of ~~good times~~ hard work.

The set up is much like last year's deployment. Same place. Same building. Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel. Only this time Craig doesn't have a roommate, which is pretty sweet. Heck, I've been without my roommate for months and I kind of like having sole control over the remote. Now....if only I could get rid of my weekend roommate, aka the bed hogging, clicking noise making, crazy sleeper. Then I'd really be set.

Okay...I'm off to wrestle with that roll of packing tape. :)

Berries and Bagels

2011-06-06T14:36:00.001-04:00

It's berry o'clock.

That's what I think when I see these pictures.

I have a tower of berries on hand.

As I've said before, I hate summer, but I sure do enjoy summer's fruity bounty.

Berries look so vibrant on a white back drop; so naturally I grabbed a plate and a few handfuls of berries and took some pictures. The pictures came out only so-so and it was cloudy when I took them, but for lack of anything else to talk about, I'll share them anyway.

Blackberries are my favorite. Even when they're tart.

Raspberries are beautiful, with their jewel toned vibrancy, but taste wise, they can be hit or miss. Safeway has raspberries on sale 4/$5; thankfully this batch is quite tasty.

I like blueberries with my yogurt in the mornings. My mom is not a blueberry person and never bought them when I was a kid. For a long time I didn't think I liked them either, because my mom doesn't, but once I tried them, I realized my mom doesn't know that she's talking about. ;)

Blueberries are delicious.

Strawberries are the king of all berries.

What else can I say?

I made an impulse purchase the other day. As if that's anything new.

Pretzel bagels!

See, bagels and pretzels can be friends.

I love pretzel rolls and these are just as tasty.

I inhaled one on the way to pick Caroline up from school earlier; even though I was super hungry, and at that point even my arm looked appetizing, the pretzel bagel was really good.

My activities director just informed me that we have pool plans at 3pm. Guess I better get moving!

A Funny Thing Happened At Soccer Today UPDATED

2011-06-04T14:23:00.005-04:00

Caroline's team played her friend Rachel's team this morning. Instead of playing on the unkempt natural grass field of a local elementary school, they played on an artificial turf field. Turf fields are fun; the ball moves fast, which means the girls must move fast, as well.

Caroline's team lost, but they played hard, held their own and didn't let themselves get totally dominated by an older and bigger team.

After the post game snacks were eaten and most of the team had left, we started to make our way to the car. One of the coaches for a team that was playing in the next game stopped us and asked if any of our girls (Caroline, Rachel and their friend Julie, who is on Caroline's team) would care to help out their opponent, who only had six players present, by playing another game. Otherwise, the game would have to be forfeited. All three girls said yes, which kind of surprised me, given their propensity towards 'dying' during the game due to heat, exhaustion, side cramps, stubbed toes, etc. Fortunately for us, the weather was gorgeous, so when the girls agreed, I didn't mind at all.

We quickly got acquainted with the girls' new team, who wear seafoam green jerseys. Add two girls in pink and one in blue and we had ourselves quite a rainbow on the soccer field.

With only a few quick seconds to learn all of their temporary teammates names, the whistle blew and the game began.

Not more than two minutes in, Caroline scored.

And then she scored again!

Rachel scored in the third quarter.

They won 3-0.

Caroline hasn't scored once for her team this season, and she went and scored twice in one 10 minute quarter for a team she doesn't even belong to.

Go figure.

To say we were thrilled is an understatement.

Oh and during the first game, Caroline headed the ball perfectly. It was an accident, I'm sure. But a happy accident all the same.

To top off all this Saturday excitement, Caroline is at a classmate's birthday party right now. Get this, the invitation said the party is from 12:15-3:25. Quirky, no? So when I dropped Caroline off, I spoke with the birthday girl's aunt to reconfirm the pick up time. I said '3:25, right?' to which she replied, 'no, more like 2:30-3:00. Why would they put 3:25 on the invitation if they really meant 2:30-3:00?

So now I'm left with challenge of deciding the pick up time. Does she really mean (read: really WANT) 2:30? Or is 3:00 fine, too? Should I shoot for the middle range and get her at 2:45?

Ugh, my life is so complicated!

UPDATE: I went to pick Caroline up at 2:45 and they weren't even finished. They still had water balloons to toss and ice cream sundaes to build. I waited for them to conclude the birthday festivities and got bit by 47 bugs in the process. Now we're home and all of Caroline's friends aren't at home so she's entertaining herself with the whoopie cushion she received in the goody bag. As Craig would say: good times.

Also, please allow me this moment to shamelessly brag about my kid: Caroline made the all star team again! Wahoo!! She's not a scorer (except for today!) but my kid got skillz. Or whatever. Last year she played in a sweltering hot Father's Day tournament and it looks like we'll be re-living those sweaty days again this year.

Friday Morning Confession

2011-06-03T07:23:00.000-04:00

Confession: It bothers me when people post song lyrics as their Facebook status. Also? If you complain about the challenges of parenting a 'gifted' child on Facebook, I will be forced to roll my eyes so far back in my head that they may get stuck for good.

Confession: I almost had a meltdown in the Target dressing room yesterday. For whatever reason, I have to buy a size up in Target's pants/shorts. I know this. Usually I accept it with ease. But yesterday, I was not the slightest bit amused. I still bought the shorts, mind you, but I'm not happy about that number, as arbitrary as it is.

Confession: I get annoyed when people spell my name wrong. It's happened all my life, because evidently, Alison with one L is the most obscure name spelling ever. Consequently, I am uber diligent to make sure I spell people's names correctly. It's just the nice thing to do. If my name is in the previous line of text for others to use as a reference point and my name is still misspelled, I can't help but get a little miffed. Childish? Yes. Am I proud of this? No.

But really....A-L-I-S-O-N.

Confession: I think I've turned griping, whining and complaining into something less gripey, whiny and complainy when I call it a 'confession.' That's what I like to think, anyway.

Got anything to confess?

June Junk and Other Miscellany

2011-06-02T07:18:00.003-04:00

I can't believe it's already June! I meant to blog yesterday so I could write my obligatory 'wow, it's June already; I can't believe this year is nearly half way over' statement. But I didn't.

A decree on the second day of June will have to suffice.

Even though I had planned to issue my obligatory monthly statement regarding the quick passage of time, I had nothing else to blog about yesterday. And this morning, I also have nothing to blog about, but here I am, anyway. Yep, it's been that kind of week.

Ooh, I did get free chocolate yesterday.  Just as I had predicted in Tuesday's post.

Free chocolate is cool.

It's morning. I'm generally an afternoon blogger. Mostly because I spend the majority of my morning praying I'll have something to write about in the afternoon. But I'm up and have a few more minutes before I have to wake Caroline. Lately I've been setting my alarm for 5:45 am. However, thanks to the sun and its blinding early morning rays, I don't really need to use the alarm. I have no reason to rise so early, but I kind of enjoy it. I get up, make some coffee or tea, sit at the computer and even read for a bit. It's a relaxing way to ease into the day.

I guess you can say I'm a morning person. Not necessarily a chipper morning person, but a morning person, nonetheless. I like to wake early and to feel productive in the morning, but I do not like to talk in the morning. I think that's why I like to rise before anyone else. I can get ease into things and then be ready to talk when Caroline wakes up. Because that girl? She likes to talk in the morning.

In other news, I practiced my mental telepathy skills yesterday....and they worked. You see, it was rather warm yesterday and Caroline had soccer practice scheduled for 5:30. Normally practice is at 5, but on Tuesday, the coach emailed and suggested moving it to 5:30 in hopes that it wouldn't be AS hot. We all agreed. But as 5:30 started approaching yesterday, it was still really, really hot. Now I'm not a genius by any stretch of the imagination, but it occurred to me that twelve 9-10 year old girls would do nothing but complain about being hot the entire length of practice. The very thought that they might have a productive practice was laughable.  So, around 4pm I started sending telepathic messages to Caroline's coach, suggesting he cancel practice all together.

It took some time, but wouldn't you know, it worked! He canceled practice.

We are weather weenies.   Not the least bit hard core.

Proud. Unashamed. Weather weenies.

**EDITED to fix my spelling mistakes. Perhaps I should remain an afternoon blogger and save the mornings for things other than trying to type coherent sentences.**

Watermelon In My Salad

2011-05-31T16:14:00.000-04:00

I wasn't going to blog today. Mostly because I don't have anything to report. As per usual.

But then I decided I'd tell you that I put watermelon in my salad. I planned to mention that I see watermelon salads on restaurant menus often. I don't eat at any of those restaurants, or any restaurants, really, unless of course, they have a large menu board hanging above a counter from which you place your order. I do, however, read many food related blogs. And on those food related blogs, you'll often see watermelon salads. Usually with basil and maybe a strong cheese like feta or goat cheese.

It seems like an odd combination, fruit and a savory based salad, but it's really quite delicious. And refreshing on a warm day.

Craig is adamantly opposed to fruit in salad. Unless it's fruit salad. The sweet/savory combination does nothing to tempt him. I did not marry him for his adventurous palate. ;)

Anyway, I was going to mention all of this and post a picture, because everything is better with a picture. I took some shots, but none of them turned out very well and I was too hungry to keep snapping photos of the subject. So, I ate my lunch, the evidence, if you will, and have no proof.

You'll have to just trust me. Because really? Who would lie about something like this?

I've been adding watermelon to my salad quite frequently and I sort of figured most people would find it odd and perhaps a little off putting, but yesterday at the pool, my neighbor pulled out a salad and it had watermelon on it! Go figure.

You know, it might have been better if I didn't blog at all because this watermelon drivel is turning into one hot mess.

But, I shall carry on and also tell you that I scored eight boxes of pasta for free today. I have no idea what I'll do with eight boxes of free pasta or the six boxes I already had in my pantry, or the thirteen other boxes of pasta I plan to get for free the next time I go to the store. The pasta was on sale for $1 and there was a $1/1 coupon in the newspaper a couple of weeks ago. Naturally, I purchased 20 more coupons so I can ~~conquer the bargain shopping world~~add to my pasta stash. I'm Italian and all, and Caroline is carbivore, but not even the two of us can eat that much pasta.

I think I'll save most of it for a food drive and give it away.

For me, it's the thrill of the hunt, anyway. But, NO, you won't find me on one of those extreme couponing shows any time soon.

Tomorrow is super double coupon day and if I'm really lucky, I think I'll be able to score some free chocolate.

Free chocolate is way better than free pasta.

Amen?

Memorial Day

2011-05-30T08:00:00.003-04:00

I hope you're having a nice weekend. As expected, we've spent the majority of ours at the pool. Caroline and friends have been swimming, building tents with beach towels and pool chairs and scarfing down copious amounts of snacks during break time; I've been reading and running my mouth.

It's what I do best of all.

My marketable skills are limited, but my ability to shoot the breeze is at an all time high.

With the temperatures threatening to rise into the high 90s today, I assume day three of our three day weekend shall be spent at the pool once, as well.

If it wasn't supposed to be so hot, it would be nice to go into DC for their Memorial Day festivities and parade. Alas, sweating profusely in a swarm of people isn't the slightest bit enjoyable. Racing aside, of course.

The good thing about living near Washington DC is that we can visit the war memorial sites any time of year to pay our respects to the fallen.

With Craig's deployment imminent, I'm feeling a bit touchy about this subject this morning. Last night we spoke on the phone, which isn't a regular occurrence because to me, email > talking on the phone, but as it were, I was reminded that his time here on US soil is limited. Usually it's all okay, but sometimes I reminded of the gravity of the situation. Our conversation wasn't deep or anything. I poked fun at his jeans (long story!) and we discussed his ever changing post deployment plans and money and logistics and I complained about my horrible lot in life (!) but looming in the background, I knew that Craig is gearing up for what will no doubt be a very long, very hard year.

In an email yesterday, before we spoke on the phone, I was telling him about something undoubtedly tragic happening in my life, but I was quick to say that even though my life, and all the trials and tribulations of not having (and not needing) a job and spending two hours at the gym every day and being able to buy $50 garbage cans and new TV stands on a whim, is treacherous and tragic at times, he wins the 'my life sucks' award.

He's okay with it, though. As he said, he's learned to 'embrace the suck.'

So have I, Craig. So have I.

Kidding.

Sacrifice is a strange thing. I mean, we all sacrifice in some way or another, usually because we HAVE to. Not necessarily because we WANT to. Moms sacrifice a lot. ~~Especially me!~~ We sacrifice our time, our sleep and our sanity to rear our kids. Moms worry obsessively, chaperone noisy field trips and let their cover hogging children sleep in their beds. Moms even make their 9 year old children grilled cheese sandwiches with the crusts cut off for breakfast (!) when it's requested. Even though said child could pour herself a bowl of cereal in 10 seconds, flat.

But to willingly sacrifice your body for your country?

To sacrifice your life so your fellow man can live safely and freely is more awesome and more powerful than I can even begin to comprehend.

Definitely more powerful than a grilled cheese sandwich with the crusts cut off.

I Bought A $50 Garbage Can

2011-05-28T15:12:00.002-04:00

What has gotten into me lately?

Who in their right mind would pay$50 for a garbage can?! It's kind of cool, though; it has a motion sensor that automatically lifts the lid when your hand is near. It's supposed to eliminate cross contamination, or something like that.

It was sort of impulsive.

I hope it's magical.

I think I'm losing my marbles.

We went to the pool earlier; Caroline and Rachel were the first two to set foot in the water this season. This thrilled them beyond measure. We stayed for a while; they swam and ate fruit snacks during the break; I read under an umbrella and ate another big orange. This orange was much juicier than yesterday's.

Since it was only about 80 degrees, and I'm allergic to bathing suits and sun-shriveled skin, I took up residence under a big umbrella and read 'Body Surfing' by Anita Shreve. I checked this book out last week, only to discover three paragraphs in that I've read it before.

I read it again. It's good.

I've read a few of her books, including The Pilot's Wife, which was great, even though it was an Oprah book. I tend to shy away from those, as I'm apparently the only chick in America who doesn't fawn all over Oprah. Anita Shreve is a great writer. Except, I read one of her novels 'All He Ever Wanted' which I found depressing and disturbing.  So much, in fact, that it haunted me for days after. I hate when that happens.

I finished up 'Body Surfing' and moved on to a Jodi Picoult book my mom brought me when she visited in April. I do my best reading in the summer at the pool. There aren't any household distractions like dusty furniture or laundry waiting to be folded. Also, no comfy chairs to fall asleep in, either. If I read at home during the day, I almost always end up napping.

We're supposed to go back to the pool later because Caroline's other friend, Alayna, will be there. I'm debating whether or not I should put my bathing suit on for part two of our two-a-day pool visitation. Allergic or not, it has to be worn sometime.  It's cloudy and not that hot, so I may wait until Monday because it's supposed to be 95 degrees.

Aside from the bountiful produce summer offers, I can do without the rest of it.   Berries and watermelon, juicy peaches and cool fruit smoothies are great, but wearing bathing suits and sweating profusely leaves a bit to be desired.

I'm feeling a bit melancholy today.  I thought perhaps the purchase of a new trash can would shake me out of my funk, but it didn't. Now I feel dumb for buying a $50 trash can.

It appears it's almost time to return to the pool. Or so I'm told. Time to pack up the snack bag and shuttle the troops to round two of pool time fun.

Big Orange Update

2011-05-27T14:51:00.003-04:00

Remember my big oranges?

How could you forget? I mean, big oranges are exciting news around here.

Anyway, I peeled one this afternoon to eat with my lunch and was pleasantly surprised to find that the peel was of average thickness and not three inches thick like I had previously predicted.

However, the fruit itself was a little dried out in some areas.

Tragic, no?

I still ate it.

Because my standards are low.

In other news, school got out early today, supposedly to kick off the Memorial Day weekend. I personally think holidays are best celebrated while children are IN school, but I may be in the minority there. I mean, it's not like we're going anywhere for the weekend; so why not let them stay in school until 3:20?

Our weekend plans will not be spent in traffic along I-95, but will most likely involve multiple trips to the pool since it opens tomorrow. Usually the pool water is still too cold on opening weekend, but it's been rather hot the past few days, which should help warm the water up significantly.

So long as the kids don't complain, it'll be all good.

I have a book and new sunscreen (BOGO + $1 off coupons!) and a new cooler to pack snacks and water in.

I'm set.

Also, but appropos of nothing, it is important that I note that my gym got new exercise mats today. Jeanne, one of my fellow gym rats, said she fully expected a blog post about these new mats. I hate to disappoint anyone, so here you go: the mats are so clean and shiny and communicable disease free. Honestly, the idea of community mats is a little gross, but I try not to think about it too much. I suppose I could bring my own mat to class, but it's just one more thing to carry. Besides, I had to cut a piece of our yoga mat off to use for another purpose. Don't ask. It would take too much time to explain. And it's really not all that interesting, anyway.

Happy Friday!

White Girl Problems

2011-05-26T15:12:00.003-04:00

One of my favorite hash tags/trending topics on Twitter is white girl problems. For instance, "I want Starbucks, but they're all too far from my house," is a white girl problem. So is, "I wish I was tan and at the beach" and "Dunkin Donuts didn't put enough sugar in my vanilla iced coffee." Or "I want a hot dog and I think my brain is bleeding; I really need to drink less caffeine."

I have white girl problems.

My brain may not be bleeding and I never want a hot dog, but I've spent the last three days mulling over the potential purchase of a tv stand for the tv in my bedroom. You'd think it would be easy to pick one.

You'd think.

Au contraire.

The one I like, which happens to be the most affordable, has a finish that may be too dark to fit with our current bedroom furniture. I'm not huge on matchy-matchy, but it all has to work. And I fear this one won't.

So, I found another one. But it's pricier. And then I think, maybe I'll go completely off course and find a black finish tv stand. But then I'd need to get rid of this table I have (in a darkish wood finish) because it would be out of place next to a black tv stand and the rest of my furniture. And then I'd need to replace the table with something in a black finish because then the room would be off balanced.

Oh. My. Life.

Of course Craig doesn't care about the price or the aesthetics; he says just buy one. Most people enjoy having free reign and a (within reason) unlimited budget and yet, I'm acting like I'm participating in nuclear arms negotiations.

Finding a tv stand should not be this hard.

And I'm not going to even discuss my newest obsession with finding a better kitchen trash can.

Have I mentioned I have white girl problems?

My, What Big Oranges You Have

2011-05-25T14:05:00.003-04:00

I swung by the commissary after the gym to pick up some essentials: fresh berries, protein powder and chocolate. Right next to the blackberries was a huge display promoting a 'Wacky Wednesday' deal on some very large navel oranges.

Far be it from me to pass up a wacky deal on fruit. Especially big fruit.

For lack of a better word, these babies are ginormous. Although, it's hard to accurately portray the size of the oranges in pictures. Perhaps I should have put it next to something smaller for comparison's sake?

Even my man hands are dwarfed by the size of the orange.

Watch, I'll peel one and find that the peel is three inches thick, leaving nothing but a puny bit of fruit.

In other news, I went bathing suit shopping yesterday. Oh the horror! I didn't intend to buy myself a new bathing suit this summer, but upon inspection, the top I wear most often is looking a little dingy, so I set out yesterday to find a new one. Since I have bottoms (in black) that fit, I wasn't filled with the normal fear a woman faces when going to try on bathing suits. Most of my figure flaws are located below the equator, so searching for a top isn't nearly as traumatizing. Those florescent lights and three way mirrors are unforgiving; they're the stuff nightmares and big ugly cries are made of.

I went to Kohls and came home with a top, which was on sale for $19.99. Score!

The pattern is a little busy, something I'm not normally drawn to, but I liked this one for some reason.

Perhaps because it was fit for me?

If only.....

:)

Getting Crafty

2011-05-23T14:53:00.002-04:00

Depending on your definition of crafty, that is. If your definition of crafty involves pre-made felt flowers and things that clip on or fasten with twist ties, then crafty we shall call it.

Caroline and I went to Michaels yesterday; we went for one thing, which I didn't end up buying, and ended up bring home so much more.

I found this lime green (although it looks more sage-y green in the pictures) message board for $5 and these felt embellishments, which were 50% off.

I figured even I was capable of doctoring up a message board with clip on dragonflies (butterflies?)

and twist tie felt flowers.

Eight dollars and five minutes later, we have something cute to hang on Caroline's bedroom wall.

I also bought some plain acrylic picture frames to replace two frames in Caroline's room that are falling apart. They're affordable and virtually indestructible, but the pictures looked a little stark in the clear frames with white mat boards. An opportunity to make the frames pretty presented itself, but because my hand is unsteady and my craftiness is sorely limited, I opted for the quick and easy approach.

Paint

and a pencil eraser

make cute polka dots

It ain't Pottery Barn Kids, but these decorations are cheap and easy.

And honestly, Caroline doesn't care one bit. Her interest in room decor, much like her interest in fashion (and making her bed neatly), is non existent. Which, for me, is great (except for the bed making part), because then I can do whatever I want without any suggestions from the peanut gallery.

Good Clean Fun

2011-05-21T17:29:00.001-04:00

Despite my fervent protest, warm weather is upon us. It actually hasn't been THAT hot lately, but if the temperature rises above 75, Caroline and friends immediately feel the need to pull out the hose.

Caroline and Rachel had a ball outside on Thursday playing with the hose; I grabbed my camera and tried to capture a few shots.

I'd love to include pictures of Rachel's face, but I'm not comfortable posting pictures of other people's children on the Internet without permission. Also? Rachel's dad is an attorney. And he's a bit intense. Honestly, I'm kind of scared of him.

The temperature really crept up this afternoon, which made for a sweaty soccer game. After a stop for a post-soccer smoothie, Caroline joined several of her friends at the neighbor's house for an epic water battle.

Can't go wrong with good clean fun.

Happy Saturday!

Oh, and Happy Judgement Day! As of 5:28 pm, the world has not ended. We have a little bit of time before sundown, so we'll see how things go.

True Story

2011-05-20T16:51:00.003-04:00

True story: I was doing laundry earlier and noticed how light my detergent bottle was feeling. "Oh no," I said to myself. "I'm almost out of detergent and I didn't pick any up at the store today."

And then I looked up.

Apparently I forgot buying four bottles of laundry detergent.

Go figure.

I suppose I'm not in danger of running out of fabric softener, either.

I'm generally not a laundry products hoarder, but I had some awesome $3 off Gain fabric softener coupons a few months ago. The commissary had it on sale for $3.20; I had four coupons and ended up paying .80 for four bottles of Gain fabric softener.

True story: I made that little banner at the top of the page. I found a free template online and added the title. If you understood my lack of computer prowess, you'd be very impressed by this. I was having a heck of a time getting the banner to center properly, even after reading and re-reading the instructions. Evidently if you miss one measly number in the code you must enter, the banner won't center. All it took was the addition of a number 1 and the banner is now centered.

Want another true story? Things are better in threes, right?

Yesterday, I told you I had a busy day. I was busy, but truth be told, I wasn't busy splicing atoms or curing cancer. I was busy shopping (and stuffing Thursday folders and going to the dentist to have cement from my old permanent retainer polished off my teeth).

I went bathing suit shopping.

NOT for me. That's something I only do when absolutely necessary.

I went bathing suit shopping for Caroline.

I brought home five different suits to have her try on.

Two fit perfectly; the other three will be returned.

She needed goggles, too.

And a fuzzy green pillow and a matching bin to contain the junk in her room.

It's good to be Caroline.

True story.

Don't Mind Me

2011-05-19T19:55:00.001-04:00

Don't mind me. I'm fiddling with the blog background. Unfortunately, I know nothing about this stuff, but I've been wanting something a little cleaner. I wish I had a header. I wish I knew how to make a header. I wish I knew what kind of header I'd like.

Anyway, until I resolve my current identity crisis, we shall all see white and ~~blue~~ green and brown.

:)

Odds and Ends

2011-05-19T15:13:00.002-04:00

I've had a busy day today (I know, I'm as surprised as you!) and don't have a whole lot of time to blog before it's time to pick Caroline up from school. I just have a few quick things to share with you today; all of which begin with the letter C.

How alliterative of me.

Coconut

source

Starbucks has introduced a line of coconut flavored beverages. Coconut is a love it or hate it type of ingredient and I happen to adore it. I've had three coconut flavored mistos in the past two weeks and I'm falling more and more in love with them each time. Today's coconut misto was the best yet. The barista put toasted coconut on the top, which was a nice addition. Well, it was nice once I figured out why my coffee was chunky. Chunky coffee is generally a huge turnoff, but when the chunks are discovered to be bits of toasted coconut, it's all good.

Corn

Fresh corn is back in season. To celebrate, I've been making skillet corn. You should give it a try, too.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cheesecake

This picture is my laptop's wallpaper background. I've been tempted to lick the screen because it looks so good.

Computer

~~Great~~Odd news!

My computer, the one with the wonky virus, mysteriously started working again this morning. Craig tried to help me fix it over the phone but we weren't successful. Or so we thought. Or perhaps spewing profanities, ~~kicking~~ lightly tapping your computer and referring to it as a 'good for nothing hunk of junk' works better than all that technical mumbo jumbo. Maybe I shamed it into working again?

Whatever the case, it's working. For now.

It's a good thing I bought a new one. Or, whatever.

Eh, if you can't spend all of your hard working husband's money, what good is life? ;)

Clothes

source

I want this shirt.

There's another one that says "Peace, Love, Broccoli." I can't decide which one I like better.

(C)Flowers (so much for my alliterative theme)

So, my azaleas may be droopy and lifeless,

but look what popped up!

Believe it or not, this is a weed. Or so I'm told.

At least it's a pretty weed.

Okay, time to get Caroline!

Wilted

2011-05-18T15:00:00.000-04:00

Remember my beautiful, fully bloomed azaleas?

They're not so beautiful anymore. I guess the saying about beauty being fleeting is spot on where azaleas are concerned.

Dried out.

Droopy.

Wilted.

Dessicated.

Shriveled.

If that's not a metaphor for life then I don't know what is.

;)

In other news (I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I use that phrase way too much) I spent a good portion of the afternoon organizing my pantry and it is still a mess. Someone should slap me, or at least try to stop me, the next time I say I need to go grocery shopping. We have entirely too much food.

I can't help it; I'm weak in the presence of a good deal. Speaking of which, I got a steal of a deal on Quaker instant oatmeal and am now the proud owner of four boxes, all of which cost a total of $2.88. I told you it was a good deal! They were at a closeout price of $1.72 each, plus each box had a $1/1 coupon affixed to it. It would be a sin to pass up .72 oatmeal.

Because I eat odd things, I mix the package of oatmeal with a carton of plain greek yogurt to make overnight oats. Overnight oats look and sound gross, but they're really quite tasty. I keep it simple and top with sliced banana and a sprinkle of cinnamon. The protein from the yogurt plus the carbs from the oatmeal really works well to fuel my workouts.

In more other news (!) Craig couldn't get his money back from his airline purchase. I guess travel insurance isn't always helpful? He even pulled the deployment card and they wouldn't budge. So now he has a $400 airplane credit to use up within the next 12 months. Unfortunately, he won't be doing a whole lot of US domestic air travel in the next 12 months.

Eh. That's life.

How zen of me.

I can't fault the guy. Besides I had my own money oopsie last week which resulted in a nearly doubled cell phone bill. Given the amount of mistakes I've made lately and how forgetful I've been, I'm beginning to think my brain is on an extended spring break.

Or perhaps it's as wilted and shriveled as my azaleas?

Surprise

2011-05-17T14:22:00.002-04:00

Do you like surprises?

I don't. But that probably shouldn't surprise you much.

I'm a type A, neurotic, control freak and I can honestly say I don't like them. I like the idea of a surprise. And, most definitely, the thought behind the surprise. But as far as actually being surprised? Not so much.

Last night Craig called.

He likes surprises.

Anyway, he had planned to surprise us with a visit during Memorial Day weekend. One last time before shipping off to a far away land. He double checked his plans, thought he had clearance on all accounts and booked tickets. Unfortunately, he should have triple, no, quadruple checked, because as it turns out, he cannot go anywhere that weekend.

Oops.

Thankfully he purchased trip insurance. Hopefully he'll get his money back. If not...well, that's life.

Anyway, as he was telling me all of this on the phone, I interrupted him and said,, "You realize I don't like surprises, right?"

"What?" he said. "You mean to tell me you wouldn't be happy to see me, your husband of almost 15 years, if I showed up at the door unannounced?"

"Yes." I told him.

Well, not exactly. I obviously would be happy to see him and I certainly wouldn't send him away, but because I don't respond to surprises like the surpriser would hope, it's really just not a good idea to surprise me. There's nothing worse than a shell shocked, type A, surprise hating surprisee reacting poorly to the well intentioned plans of a surprise loving surpriser.

Next time, I told him, you can surprise Caroline. I'll even help plan it.

I think I just broke some sort of record for the amount of times I wrote 'surprise' in the above paragraphs.

Anyway, despite my distaste for surprises, it's a bummer that Craig cannot come for a visit. I appreciate the effort, though.

He gets points for trying.

Especially because just yesterday afternoon I was thinking to myself that on most days I'm perfectly okay with Craig being away for so long, but every so often, yesterday specifically, I miss having him around.

Sigh.

Spring Slump

2011-05-16T14:31:00.000-04:00

I'm as backwards as they come. True story.

Most people can't wait for spring and summer. Most people look forward to warmer weather and sunny skies.

Like most people, I enjoy an occasional sunny day. I like to open my windows to feel the breeze. I understand why people like spring. But for me? Well, when spring comes around, I feel like hiding. Perhaps it's because I was reminded this morning that school ends in 5 weeks. The very thought of the long hot summer ahead of us makes me want to cry endless buckets of tears.

I'm planning a few camps/activities for Caroline to break up the monotony. But then I wonder if it's too much? Or not enough? Should she spend time just playing in the neighborhood, or will hours spent at camp be more beneficial? What happens when the neighborhood kids hit their mid summer slump and grow tired of the pool and of each other?

It all just stresses me out.

And then I think, 'if I had just had more kids, I wouldn't have to worry about filling Caroline's days with so many activities because she'd always have someone to play with.' But then I remember that siblings bicker, which makes a seemingly endless summer feel even longer and more painful. My sister and I fought like cats and dogs. It's a wonder my mom made it through each summer without checking herself into the looney bin.

And then I get terribly self centered and think about how the frequency and length of my gym visits decline in the summer. I feel guilty bringing Caroline to the gym with me every day, because she sort of hates it, so I concede a workout or two per week. But working out is stress relief. It makes me happy.

Me, me, me.

Hello, guilt.

Blah.

In other news, I bought a new desktop computer. I still can't figure out how to fix my other computer; I didn't even turn it on yesterday because I didn't want to even think about it. Thankfully everything is backed up on an external hard drive, so we won't lose any important pictures and documents. Or music. Craig is supposed to give me instructions on how to fix the problem on the dinosaur computer, but he doesn't have reliable Internet access right now and, not to mention, he's busy working. Or whatever. So, I shall wait.

The new computer, one of those all-in-one dealies, should arrive this week sometime.

I'm kind of excited about it. Considering the fact that I was waiting for the other one to explode at any moment, it was time to upgrade.

And Craig, of course, is beside himself with glee, because he loves it when we make major purchases.

Guess I'm not the only backwards person in this family.

Rooster Runner

2011-05-15T11:31:00.003-04:00

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Guess who was up at 4 am this morning? That would be me.

Today (at 12:01 am) marked the first (and likely only) day of open registration for the Army Ten Miler. I was fast asleep at midnight, but I purposefully set my alarm for 4 am so that I could get a spot before the race sells out.

Runners are strange.

And sleep deprived.

Never fear, I had another reason to wake early this morning....although not THAT early. We had our Girls on the Run 5k this morning!

Last spring, when I ran with our neighbor, we left our house at 6am for this race and got stuck in horrific traffic trying to get into George Mason University, where the race is located. This morning we left 15 minutes earlier and arrived without any traffic issues at all. Of course, that means we were the first of our group to arrive, at 6:15, which left us with an hour and 45 minute wait until the race began. Thankfully the rain held off, so standing outside was really quite pleasant.

As a bonus, the early birds get the clean port-o-potties. Amen.

My camera battery was on the verge of dying this morning so I didn't bring it with me. I did get a few pictures of Caroline before we left for the race, but they're not the greatest. She's not a huge camera lover and most of the pictures I get of her look like mug shots. I have better luck with extreme candid shots, but this morning, with the bad lighting and a dying camera battery, I just didn't have the time.

The obligatory running pose shot.

Clearly, she wasn't in the mood for pictures.

Anyway, the race was fun.

Sort of.

As I said to Craig in a text: 'there were cramps and complaints of hills galore.'

This course is pretty hilly, but I tried to tell Caroline that hills make our legs stronger. She wasn't entirely convinced. The race was a mental struggle for her, but in the end, she sprinted to the finish with tons of energy to spare, like she always does.

The whole ordeal mentally exhausts me.

Physically, I'm exhausted, as well. Because of the whole getting up at 4 am thing. Oh and the tossing and turning all night doesn't help much, either.

After the race we stopped by Starbucks for caffeination and now were home; I'm all cleaned up and ready to be a lump.

Tech Woes

2011-05-14T14:36:00.000-04:00

My desktop computer, which is an archaic dinosaur that probably needs to be put out of its misery, has a virus. One of those 'WARNING: Your computer is unprotected, please order our anti-virus software NOW" kind of things. Ugh, what a pain.

My computer is protected. Or at least it WAS protected. I don't know. All I know is that I cannot connect to the Internet, which is a huge bummer.

And now let us say a prayer of thanksgiving for my laptop, which shall sustain me and my unhealthy Internet addiction until my desktop's virus ceases to exist.

In case you didn't know, I'm not a tech person. I can turn it on,surf the web and pen this tragic blog, but as far as understanding anything in the computer vernacular is, well, like a foreign language to me. And as luck would have it, computer issues ONLY arise when Craig is gone.

Just why is that? Really?

Does anyone know the answer because I'm dying to know why?

Anyhow, until Craig can help me figure out what to do, over the phone from 1000+ miles away, our desktop is out of commission. We've been talking a lot about replacing it, because it's an archaic dinosaur, but I've been holding on. I have faith in our old, but trustworthy computer. It just takes a certain amount of patience and finesse to coax it into firing up every morning. Despite my best efforts, it looks like I won't be holding out for much longer. I can feel my grip slowly releasing and I'm warming to the idea of a brand spankin' new computer.

I do like shiny things.

Craig happens to adore spending money, so the idea of a new computer purchase makes him downright giddy.

In other news, I thought I misplaced my ipod. It was nowhere to be found in the house, in my gym bag or in either car. So, I drove to my gym because I was SURE I'd left it in the locker room. The ipod was nowhere to be seen in the locker room, nor in the lost and found, so I drove home, only to remember halfway home that I put my ipod in MY SHOE. Seriously. In my SHOE!

I even said out loud (to no one, because I was driving alone), "It's in my shoe!"

I quit.

Carbtastic

2011-05-13T14:25:00.002-04:00

Every six weeks or so, I have coffee with a few friends from the gym. We used to go to Caribou Coffee, but now we frequent the Great Harvest Bread Company, which sells coffee and fabulous bread. I don't usually buy any bread, because I'm a carb monster and will eat it all, but I always graciously try the free slices of bread they offer to their customers.

It's good stuff.

Tonight is the Girls on the Run pre-5k pasta dinner. I had planned to make some focaccia bread, but once I stepped into Great Harvest, the cheddar garlic bread called my name.

Look at that bit of chewy, brown cheddar oozing from the loaf.

Ooh, look, there's another one!

Because I don't want to serve an inferior product, a taste test was in order.

Of course, I cut off one of the ends with the chewy, browned cheese sticking out.

And then I cut the other end off, only to find this:

Yep, that'll be my piece tonight.

I can't decide if I should just slice the bread to eat as is, or slice it, smear it with a little butter and toast it.

Decisions, decisions....

In other carb-loaded news, I'm also bringing brownies. I had intended to make chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting, but last night I asked Caroline if she thought I should make cupcakes or brownies. I figured she'd go with cupcakes, but she chose brownies instead.

To make things even easier, I'm using this brownie mix I found in my pantry:

But, to doctor them up a bit, I'm adding some of this chocolate I found on clearance.

You really can't go wrong with chocolate mixed with chocolate.

Don't worry, though. We're not going to feast on only bread and chocolate. Although, that idea doesn't sound half bad. Among the pasta dishes being provided by the other Girls on the Run teammates, I'm making real dinner food, too.

Would you care to guess what I'm making?

=

The Pioneer Woman's macaroni and cheese.

Oh baby.

PS--Blogger has been wonky lately. Consequently, my posts from Wednesday and Thursday have disappeared. I hope they'll return unharmed, but who knows?

Edited to add: nevermind. They're back. Whew, what a relief. I'd hate for all that literary genius to get lost in cyberspace for ever and ever.

Discount Shopping At the Dentist

2011-05-12T14:30:00.000-04:00

So, I went to the dentist today. In the spirit of honesty and full disclosure, I shall admit to you, my dental transgressions. I've been a bad girl; I haven't had a dental cleaning since we moved to Virginia. Three years ago. I know! I'm not particularly afraid of the dentist, I just never got around to making an appointment for myself. Since Caroline goes to a pediatric dentist, I actually had to find my own family dentist and well, it that just seemed like it required way too much effort.

I know.

Lame, lame, lame.

Anyway, because I know my way around a toothbrush and am proficient with dental floss, my teeth are in very good condition. Because of this, the hygienist and dentist didn't yell at me for being so negligent. No cavities, either. Holla.

However, my gums, while healthy, have begun to recede a bit. Therefore an electric toothbrush was suggested.

Lucky for me, the dentist office has a convenient selection of electric toothbrushes for the patients to purchase at their leisure.

Everything comes in such a fancy bag nowadays.

I'm now the proud owner of an electric toothbrush WITH a digital timer to time my tooth brushing sessions AND a sensor that beeps when you're pushing to hard on your gums.

Fancy.

But the best part is the bargain aspect of this whole deal. You know how much I love a bargain, right?

Well, this toothbrush, which according to the handy sign displayed on the receptionist's desk retails for $160, was on sale for $99.

In addition to that killer sale, I was also given a 50% off coupon and a $15 rebate.

$35!

Coupons and rebates at the dentist? Oh my!

I've never been so happy to buy a $35 toothbrush in my life.

Stick It In A Bowl And Call It Dinner

2011-05-11T14:48:00.000-04:00

Stick it in a bowl and call it dinner is my new motto. Or perhaps I should refer to it as my dinner mission statement?

Regardless of what you call it, my dinners of late represent the above statement quite accurately.

Remember a few months ago when I went on the great white dish search of 2011? I think it was in March? No, it was the end of February. The beauty of blogging is that I can look back and see what I did (or in my case, didn't) do on any given day. Anyway, besides purchasing normal dinner/salad plates, I also bought these pasta bowls.

Please pardon the dark picture. I'm not sure what I did to it and the idea of fixing it seems most unappealing right now. :)

This picture makes the bowls look huge; while they're definitely substantial, they're not quite in the Jethro bowl category.

Anyway, with Craig not here, my desire to cook real dinner food has waned quite significantly. Honestly though, my desire to cook real dinner food waned when Craig was deployed last year and I never really reestablished my cooking mojo upon his return. Baking? Yes. Real food? No. If I can't cream butter and sugar together, the idea of creating in the kitchen doesn't excite me much. Since it's clearly not a neccesity at this moment, I'm not really bothered by my lack of cooking mojo. Caroline doesn't require much variety in the dinner hour and is happy to eat some variation of carb + cheese + vegetable nightly. As a result, I've allowed myself to forgo creativity in the kitchen and have taken to throwing a bunch of stuff in a bowl, heating it in the microwave and calling it dinner.

The individual components in the bowl vary upon what it is in my fridge, which provides for quite a bit of variety. Generally it's some sort of cooked grain (pasta, wheat berries, bulgar, rice), some sort of bean (kidney, black, chick pea) and whatever cooked vegetables I have. Sometimes I add a sprinkle of cheese. Sometimes a drizzle of marinara sauce. Sometime both.

It's balanced. And tasty.

And easy.

Just how I like it.

Okay, I'd love to babble on some more, but it's time to retrieve Caroline from school. We have a friend coming at 4pm who will then walk to soccer practice with us. It's a really pretty day today, which makes being outside quite enjoyable.

Happy Wednesday!

Ten Things On Tuesday

2011-05-10T15:25:00.002-04:00

Greetings.

I'm at a loss for a topic to blog about, so I thought I'd just share with you a list of ten purposeless items. Because 1.) I'm quite purposeless and 2.) alliteration is awesome. Eight Things on Tuesday doesn't quite have the same ring as Ten Things on Tuesday, no?

I bought a lot of vegetables today. I went to the commissary for 20 items, but decided to forgo the quicky self checkout (limited to 20 items) and buy a bunch of extra produce and other things ~~I didn't really need~~.
I think the word random is overused. Hence my use of purposeless up above. I did a search for synonyms for random; purposeless was listed. So was adventitious. I don't know what adventitious means, so I didn't use it.
I'm tired. Mind, body and soul. But mostly my legs. And eyes.
I haven't slept restfully for quite some time, but last night was particularly restless. At one point I swear my doorbell rang at 4 am. I'm sure it was in my dream but I wasn't about to go downstairs to see if it was, in fact, my doorbell. The bell didn't ring again, and we're all alive and well, so I really think it was in my dream. Also, before bed I read a book in which one of the characters had a prowler near her house. Perhaps I should read something a little more happy-dream friendly before bed?
I'm back on the green smoothie bandwagon. Thus my sudden coveting of a Vitamix. I always give up green smoothies when it's cold, because frozen drinks in January don't sound the slightest bit appealing. Now that spring has sprung, I'm drinking my greens again.
I've been adding half a scoop of Craig's muscle man protein powder to my daily smoothie. Given the combo of green spinach and protein powder, I think I may turn into the Incredible Hulk.
I tried to be a snoop today, but traffic foiled my plans. You see, my friend and her family are moving here next month. They've been offered a house on the military base and I was going to go check it out and take pictures of it for them. Except road work and a backed up highway caused me to abort my plans. Oh well. I'll try again another day. Or, you know, when the traffic delays are non-existent. Except in Northern Virginia that will be NEVER.
Sunday is Caroline's Girls on the Run 5k race. Rain is forcasted. It rained last year at this very same race when I ran with our neighbor. I suppose a little rain is better than the freezing temperatures we ran in during the GOTR Reindeer Romp in December. It's a good thing running races aren't beauty contests.
I bought International Delight's Almond Joy ~~deliciousliquidchemicaldeath~~ coffee cream. Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike the word creamer? Sheesh, what is my problem?! Anyway, no matter what you call it, this variety is really tasty. I give it two thumbs up.
I ordered myself a Mother's Day present on Sunday. A ~~Vitamix~~ water bottle for long runs.

Are you jealous?

During marathon training, I ran with a CamelBak, but it was a huge pain to deal with. It leaked. It was heavy. It made me chafe. I kind of hated it.

Hopefully I'll like this option better.

Whew, that took longer than I expected.

Who knew being purposeless could be so time consuming? :)

The Magic of Motherhood

2011-05-09T14:40:00.002-04:00

It has become quite evident that Caroline cannot take a hint. I made it pretty clear that I did not want her dirty socks next to my beloved Ebony and yet, those stupid socks remained there all weekend. I refrained from picking them up myself, because I wanted her to do it. Somehow it never happened.

I almost had a stroke keeping myself from picking up the socks myself. Restraint is hard.

Caroline thinks it's funny.

I do not.

Clearly she has more important things to do than pick up her misplaced, dirty socks.

Important stuff like building tents.

Happy Mother's Day to me.

Who said motherhood wasn't magical? Just look at my life; I'm living proof that it is.

Sigh.

My house is in disarray and my kid is a slob, which certainly doesn't help with the messy house situation. Instead of dwelling on it, I'm just hiding upstairs in my bedroom while Caroline and friends do whatever it is they're doing downstairs.

In other, less depressing news, my azaleas have fully bloomed.

Aren't they pretty?

Poor evil bunny's view is obstructed by the beautiful blooms.

Some other stuff is blooming, too. This is from a tree in our driveway; I have no idea what kind of tree, but this little flower is pretty.

and these are from the flower box on my neighbor's stairs.

Happy Monday!

Whatever.

The Lousy Daughter: Part II

2011-05-08T05:00:00.020-04:00

So, I didn't send my mom a Mother's Day card again. Again!!

I know, I know; I'm a lousy, good for nothing daughter.

I feel a slight twinge of guilt, but then I remember how much my mom doesn't care about cards and gifts. Last year I wrote her a poem, albeit a terrible poem, but this year I couldn't even come up with one single stanza to honor her on Mother's Day.

What kind of monster am I?

Since I can't fill this blank blog space with another offering from my (non existent) poetry collection, I thought I'd post a little bit of what I wrote last year to justify my reasons for being such a lousy daughter.

__________________________________________________________________________________
From May 7, 2010:

And this is where I make a startling confession: I didn't send my mom a Mother's Day Card.

Yep, I said it.

No card. No present. Nothing.

Insert cries of disbelief and general feelings of disgust over my negligence here. But actually, if you know me well enough, you'll know that this isn't much of a surprise. I was born completely lacking the sentimental, smushy Hallmark gene.

Never fear though, to recompense for my egregious oversight, I wrote my mom a poem. I'm not sure that 2010's Mother's Day poem will ever compete with the classic poem I penned around 1984, which went like this:

Moms are specal

Moms are nice

Moms take care fo you

And I like moms

We'll just let her be the judge. Since she's so wise and lovely and forgiving, and all.

The Sorry I'm a Lousy Daughter Poem

Awful, wretched, horrible

That's what you should call me

For I failed to send you

a Mother's Day card

in honor of your birthing of me

I did not intend to be so neglectful

You deserve much better than this

It was never my desire

to be a negligent daughter

But it's not really my fault, you see

For you can attest

That this trait of forgetfulness

Is simply hereditar-ee

So, as you can see, It's NOT my fault. I was wired this way. It's completely genetic and totally irreversible.

But the best part of it all is that my mom doesn't care one bit if I don't send a card. She was born without the very same sentimental, sappy Hallmark gene, too; I learned this all from her. We're simpatico.

I wonder if I learned the ability to easily place blame on others from her, as well? ;)

Honestly, I didn't *forget* to send her a card. I actually scoured the card racks at a few different stores, on a few separate occasions. The problem is that I couldn't find one single appropriate card. They were either too sappy, too formal, too stupid, not applicable or made noise.

I do not like cards that make noise. I also do not like cards that come in that square size. They're actually very attractive, BUT what's with the "requiring extra postage" thing. How much extra postage do they require? A whole extra stamp? Or just a few extra cents? I don't carry around 1 cent stamps and I try to avoid the post office unless absolutely necessary. The whole thing just stresses me out.

I have such a problem with greeting cards, for any occasion. It's hard to find one. Like Mother's Day cards, they're either sappy or stupid. I really dislike those birthday cards in the humorous section that have the old ladies on them who talk about sagging body parts and incontinence, among other undesirable ailments that come along with aging. Or any cards that discuss bathroom humor or have partially naked people on them. Tacky.

I'm not really a prude and I don't necessarily dislike inappropriate jokes, but there is something about those tacky cards that really rub me the wrong way. I love a good joke; I think it's safe to assume that I have a pretty good sense of humor. But, as God as my witness, I will never send a card like that.

Anyway, instead of sending a sub-par Mother's Day card, I sent nothing.

Don't worry, I called her and told her. I even vowed to buy her lunch when we visit this summer.

What makes her such an awesome mom is that she doesn't care. There isn't any guilt dished out, nor are there any high expectations to meet.

I'm a lot like that.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!
__________________________________________________________________________________

I make some valid points, right?

But you know, as I was copying and pasting this together, I started to think about the one thing my mom has done that really sticks out in my mind. The one thing I appreciate most. Sure moms are nice and sacrificial; they teach you things; they encourage you and discipline you. Moms pack your lunch, chaperone field trips and drive you and your friends all over creation. Those are all important things, all of which I'm happy to say my mom did for me. But you know what I appreciate most about my mom?

After I had Caroline and would call my her to complain about the trials and tribulations of raising a toddler, she always took my side. Some grandmas are so blind in their grandmotherly love that they can't even imagine their precious grandchildren are capable of being the slightest bit terrible. To them, their grandchildren are angels and anything they're doing wrong must be directly related to incompetent parenting practices.

When I'd whine about Caroline's epic meltdowns, my mom would sympathize with me. She didn't blame me; she didn't offer her own well intended suggestions, she merely said "I know just how you feel." How great is it for a mom to honestly say "when you were three, I wanted to sell you at the flea market."

She understood my woes and never tried to make me feel worse for threatening to sell my own child on ebay.

Sometimes you need a little sympathy from your mom. Which, in this case, has more than made up for the time she made me wear a big, floppy lace bow in my hair on third grade picture day.

So, thanks mom. Thanks for ~~your stellar hair styling advice~~ sharing my child rearing pain and for not making me feel bad when I said wanted to trade in your only grandchild for a puppy.

Happy Mother's Day!

Wants and Want Nots

2011-05-07T17:35:00.000-04:00

Let's face it, I'm a red-blooded greedy human being. It's impossible to go through life without wanting things. Sure, most of it is fluff I don't need; I don't doubt that for a minute. Coveting is a sin, or so I read, but my neighbor does not have ~~an ass~~ a donkey, so I'm just going to go on wishing and hoping.

But before I share with you the things I'm currently coveting, let me show you what I DON'T want.

Exhibit A:

Last I checked, the perch upon which Ebony sits is NOT a laundry basket. To Caroline, who does not do the laundry, any place in which her clothing lands is the perfect resting place.

Exhibit B:

I do not want, but currently (and begrudgingly) have two scratches in my table.

Many thanks to these two candlesticks

which were knocked over by this ficus tree

on one very windy day.

Oh well, now those scratches, match the permanent pink sharpie marker on my dining room table.

So now that we've established that I do not want dirty socks in my kitchen or nicks in my furniture, let us discuss what I've been wanting lately.

Pretty feet.

(source)

It seems silly, but I have wretched, ugly feet. Running has not done them any favors. With flip flop season upon us, the state of my feet has really gotten me down. Too bad I cannot stand having my feet touched, because I could really use a pedicure right about now.

You know what else I really want?

source

A laundry fairy. Oh, you know you want one, too.

I keep hoping one will show up and help a girl out, but it appears that fairies are hard to track down.

I'd really love an endless supply of these mozzarella-tomato paninis from Panera Bread

source

Caroline and I had our Mother's Day lunch today after soccer because she has a birthday party to go to tomorrow. I let her select the restaurant, because I'm a selfless mother (ahem). Thankfully she picked Panera. After soccer she asked for McDonald's, but I reminded her that she already picked Panera. This panini is SO good; so good, in fact, that I always get sad when I get to the end of the sandwich. I just don't want it to be over.

And lastly, I really want this

source

a Vitamix.

It's the ugliest (and priciest) blender known to man, but it can grind anything up. True fact: smoothies made in the Vitamix taste 67% better than those made in regular blenders.

Well, that might not be the truest fact out there, but it's one I choose to believe.

What have you been coveting lately?

Peachy Groovy

2011-05-06T14:54:00.002-04:00

Yesterday we discussed cookie dough love; today we'll talk about peaches. Because the two are obviously equally matched.

I like peaches quite a bit, but, let's face it, no matter how you spin it, peaches are not chocolate.

However, when you put peaches on a vanilla-y crust and top with a brown sugar, nutty crumble, you really can't go wrong.

Click on the hyperlink to get the peach cobbler bar recipe. It's sort of a cheater recipe because it uses a cake mix, but can we just stop and talk a moment about the wonder of a yellow, or in this case, french vanilla cake mix. I mean, the aroma alone is enough to make my spirits soar. I'm a chocolate kind of girl. I eat handfuls of chocolate chips and have often tinkered with the idea of offering my first born up for sale to the first person who brings me a chewy brownie the size of my head. On a side note, my mom used to make brownies with peanut butter frosting. I know! Could there be anything better than that?

However, as loyal as I am to the dark stuff, when it comes to birthday cake, I'm a yellow cake girl through and through.

Also, this recipe uses canned pie filling, which is gloppy and not very attractive, but it does its job. In order to bulk up the peachiness, I also added some drained canned peaches.

Side note: do canned peaches smell funny to you?

According to the recipe, you mix up the peaches, and spread over the cake mix/oatmeal crust, which went unpictured (I think because my hands were all gummed up from pressing the crust into the pan).

Then you top it with a crumble topping. The original recipe called for pecans, but I used almonds. I went to buy pecans at the regular grocery store (read: not the commissary, aka the pricey store) but they were super expensive. I bought the cheaper almonds, instead, only to find a bag of pecans in the back of my pantry after I already baked the bars.

Okay, back to the crumble topping.

I once knew a woman who didn't like crumble topping. Talk about baffling. I mean, really? What's not to love about sweet, crunchy brown bits? Apropos of nothing, that same, crumble topping hating woman also proved to be a pathological liar/bad check writer. She also still owes us $450 for the couch she 'bought' from us when we left Maryland and moved to Georgia in 2005. Something tells me we're not going to ever see that money.

So we're out $450, but at least I have peach cobbler bars to make me happy.

They look enticing in the unbaked state;

but they're virtually irresistible when they emerge from the oven all golden brown and delicious.

But first, we must let them cool (and remind ourselves to practice courageous restraint, because they're for the teachers) before we cut them into bars and sprinkle them with powdered sugar.

I hope the teachers like them.

I was at the luncheon when it first started and I didn't see anyone take one, but that was early in the game.

At least that's what I'm telling myself.

But wait, baking week isn't over yet. Today was 'bring a goodie for the teacher day' in Caroline's class. In honor of such a special day, I made my tried and true double chocolate chunk cookies.

Which we placed in these cute little lunch sacks and tied with a ribbon.

Caroline has three teachers but we also chose to include her beloved 2nd grade teacher, the two PE teachers and her art teacher. They all need a little chocolate love, too.

I found these cupcake bags on clearance at Michaels for .09 a piece!

But, I only bought four of them, so I found the other green and blue bags at Walmart 4/$1.

In a way, I'm glad baking week is over because I hope to restore my disaster zone kitchen to its usual tidy standard. And also because I ate more chocolate yesterday than I have in several weeks. I had one batch of cookies fall flat; they were too ugly to give the teachers, but not so ugly that I didn't help myself to one or three of them.

On the bright side, I think the cookies helped fuel my run this morning.

Behold the power of chocolate. Er...peaches.

Crazy About Cookie Dough

2011-05-05T13:29:00.001-04:00

It's baking week around here! Hooray!

I made quite a mess in my kitchen yesterday as I prepared baked goodies for the Teacher Appreciation Lunch at Caroline's school. I made two things: cookie dough cheesecake bars and peach cobbler bars.

For the sake of not going into photo overload in this post, we'll just talk about the cookie dough cheesecake bars today.

Because who doesn't love cookie dough?

I should also add that instead of pulling out Ebony, my faithful Kitchen Aid mixer, I used Ebony's under appreciated and oft forgotten step sister, the hand mixer.

With no offense intended to my beloved Ebony, I just didn't feel like hoisting her out of her resting spot and cleaning any extra equipment.

I've made these cheesecake bars several times before; it's hard to go wrong with a tried and true recipe.

Especially one that starts with a graham cracker crust.

You know what is better than a graham cracker crust?

A chocolate chip graham cracker crust.

This is a messy recipe. And one that requires the dirtying of many, many bowls. It's worth it, though. Trust me.

Next up: make the cookie dough:

And roll into little balls.

It's tedious, for sure, but again, totally worth it. Especially when you sneak a few dough balls as you're rolling. They're egg free, so no worries for the food police type. Like me.

The cheesecake filling is next. This is where Ebony's step sister came in handy. She may not be as pretty or as powerful, but she did the trick. Even hand mixers need love every now and then.

Then we fill the crust,

top with dough balls

and admire the beauty of such a creation.

Baking happens. Then there is cooling time.

Next up? Drizzle!

I went a little overboard on the drizzle, but I can't help it. Drizzle, like glaze, makes all things better.

Amen.

The pan must chill for several hours and then we can cut into squares.

Behold the beauty of a cookie dough cheesecake bar.

I hope the teacher's liked them. Especially because my kitchen was destroyed in the creation of this dessert; I'm not sure it'll ever be the same. But you know, given the amount of time and attention they give our kids, they deserve so much more than some baked ziti and a cheesecake bar. I'll happily mess up my kitchen every day if it means Caroline is getting a great education from fun and caring teachers.

I'm so thankful for her school and for her teachers.

Tomorrow we'll talk about peach cobbler bars.

An Apple For the Teacher

2011-05-03T15:24:00.000-04:00

Except, in this case, the 'apple' is really warm, homemade snickerdoodle scones covered in an apple tea towel and labeled with an apple shaped tag.

As I mentioned yesterday, I tried a different scone recipe, but decided to go back to my tried and true snickerdoodle scones. As Caroline's teacher said, "you really can't go wrong with snickerdoodles." Unless, of course, you don't like cinnamon. But who doesn't like cinnamon?

Anyway, this year's Teacher Appreciation scones look awfully similar to last year's offerings.

However, last year I omitted the cinnamon IN the scone dough (as evidenced by paler scones up above). This year, I followed the recipe exactly and added a cinnamony powdered sugar glaze on top, which yielded a darker colored scone. All of which went unphotographed because we were in a rush to get out the door yesterday morning.

Had to get those scones (and coffee) to the school before the mad rush of children made their way to the classroom.

They were pretty, though. And tasty. You'll just have to trust me on that. Believe me, I know of what I speak. And, not to mention, I'm my own worst critic, so if they weren't tasty, I would have surely let you know.

Nothing but honesty here at the Neurotic Housewife.

This is random picture thrown into the mix because I was practicing bokeh. Slowly but surely I'll figure out all the manual settings on my camera.

Anyway, as I mentioned above, we brought Caroline's three teachers Starbucks and scones yesterday to kick off Teacher Appreciation Week. Last week I had Caroline take their drink orders so we knew exactly what to get them.

A word to the wise: it's best to spell your teacher's name correctly, especially when your mom puts a picture of it on the Internet. Caroline's teacher is Mr. Stillions, not Mr. Stilloins. :)

They seemed to appreciate the effort. I hope they liked the scones.

I have more baking in store this week for the PTA sponsored teacher lunch on Thursday, plus according to our room mother's note, Friday is 'bring goodies for the teacher day.' I have a feeling we'll need to provide them all with gym memberships by the end of the week!

At least Thursday is a non-caloric day. It's bring in school supplies day!

We went a little overboard in the school supply section at Target, but I couldn't help it. I love Caroline's teachers and they really deserve all the coffee, scones, Sharpies and white board cleaner in the world for all the hard work they do.

It's not easy putting up with 27 nine year olds.

Camera Roulette

2011-05-02T15:52:00.001-04:00

I have the habit of taking random pictures throughout the week. Mostly, I take them for potential blogging purposes. But sometimes? Well, sometimes I don't really know why I bothered to whip out my camera in the first place.

I'm sure I must have had a reason at the time, but, sometimes that reason isn't very clear weeks later. It's kind of like when you put something in a certain spot and you just know that you'll remember where it is because that location is SO OBVIOUS. And then two weeks later when you're looking for that item, you can't remember where in the world you put it.

Anyway.... I took some pictures of the soccer snacks we brought to the game on Saturday.

Why? Who knows.

Oh yes, now I remember. Instead of the usual sticky orange slices the girls eat at halftime, we brought clementines.

They're super sweet and a definite crowd pleaser. Sure, I had to peel and segment twelve clementines, but compared to the mess of slicing juicy, sticky oranges, this worked out really well. All the girls seemed to enjoy them, too.

Typically, the end of the game soccer snacks are something along the lines of fruit punch and chips or Oreos. I like fruit punch and chips and Oreos as much as the next person....and the girls definitely enjoy them, but when it's my turn to provide the snack, I have a hard time going that route. It's as if I feel a certain amount of obligation to provide the kids with a decent snack. Of course, I don't balk at the other post game offerings and I allow Caroline to eat the food provided.

But yes, I'm THAT mom who provided organic thirst quenchers and goldfish graham crackers.

At least it's not water and unsalted pretzels!

I did my part, which I suppose is what matters. Next week they'll eat Oreos and hopefully Caroline will share with me. :)

After the game on Saturday, I tested a scone recipe for Caroline's teachers in honor of Teacher Appreciation Week. The scones were okay, but I chose, instead, to go with an old, tried and true standby: snickerdoodle scones.

But that part doesn't really matter. What matters is how incredibly messy I am in the kitchen!

Ugh.

In other news, look what I found at Target yesterday!

Otter Pops!

Please tell me you ate Otter Pops as a kid. They were a mainstay in my young life. So much, in fact, that when I was in high school, well after I stopped eating them, my parents bought our entire family Otter Pop t-shirts. They thought it would be fun, but, I (a snotty teenager who was too cool for school) thought they were a bunch of big dorks.

I know there is a picture of us wearing them somewhere. Unless, of course, I refused to participate in that family bonding experience. I wish I could remember. Why are the details becoming so fuzzy?

But seriously. Do you remember Otter Pops and all the cool characters?

Such memories!

I always had a thing for Sir Isaac Lime.

Most kids don't like lime flavored things, I but did; still do. Likewise, when Craig eats Skittles, he eats the orange and grape, which are his favorite and I eat the lemon and lime flavors, which Craig isn't a big fan of. He eats the red ones, too. But the orange and grape are his special favorites.

How complementary of us.

I bought something else yesterday. A Misto.

So long Pam cooking spray.

And finally, to wrap up this bizarre camera roulette post, I took pictures of my current food obsession: roasted tomatoes.

It's hard to believe that these fresh tomatoes

turn into this

They make a KILLER addition to a grown up grilled cheese sandwich. Crusty bread, gooey mozzarella, fresh basil leaves and roasted tomatoes.

Yum!

May Flowers

2011-05-01T17:54:00.002-04:00

First, how is it May already!? It's crazy scary how quickly time passes. I'm almost halfway to 35, but let's just pretend that's not happening, okay? Ignorance is bliss, my friends.

It's no secret that April presented us with lots of rain. Let's just hope that because of all the rain, May's flowers are more beautiful than ever. Our azalea bushes are on the verge of full bloomage and I cannot wait.

Right now, we have one solitary bloom.

Wait.

Make that two solitary blooms.

Creepy bunny is keeping a watchful (and pupil-less) eye on that one bloom. Soon, however, the whole bush will be covered in hot pink petals. Hopefully our watch bunny will loosen up a bit when the azaleas bloom; he looks a little tense (and scary!) right now.

Every spring I say a prayer that I didn't do something egregious enough to kill the azalea bushes.

I feel a sense of responsibility towards them because they're not mine. Our landlords probably planted them and would more than likely appreciate it if I didn't kill them.

In the near three years we've lived here, those bushes have been squashed by bikes, nearly run over, dried out by the high summer sun and buried under piles of snow.

And yet, despite our negligence and the brutal elements of the unforgiving weather, spring after spring, the buds reappear.

And bloom in vibrant color.

Happy May!

I Must Be Bad Luck

2011-04-30T19:26:00.004-04:00

When Craig runs with Caroline, she doesn't get side cramps; when she runs with me, she gets epic cramps.

I must be bad luck.

This morning Caroline and I ran in her school's annual 5k race. I have pictures, but Caroline is on my laptop, therefore I cannot post them right now. Our other computer (the one I'm on) is a dinosaur and I don't like to upload my pictures on to it.

Anyway, unlike the Cherry Blossom 5k, where a cramp appeared almost immediately upon crossing the start line, the first mile of this race was great. Caroline ran up ahead of me with her friend and turned back a few times to rejoice in her lack of cramp. We were both very relieved. After about 1.25 miles, she said 'it's back.' Unfortunately Caroline, who is normally very cool and collected, has a habit of panicking a bit when this happens. Her breath becomes shallow and she acts like she's going to hyperventilate. We walked; she acted like she couldn't breathe; I told her she was fine and tried to encourage her to take deep breaths. It wasn't much fun.

It took a good bit of coaxing and encouragement, but she finally got her breathing under control and sprinted to the end.

She has the gas and the legs; it's the cramps that bring her down.

In two weeks we run the Girls on the Run 5k. We're going to focus on her breathing from the start.

Hopefully that will help.

Otherwise, the race was fun. Although I don't know any of the official times, I'm pretty sure if I had been able to run my own race, I would have placed first or second in the women's category. Obviously, this was a very small race because there isn't any other way that could happen.

It's been a long day. Besides the race, which required an early wake up call, I made a test batch of scones for Teacher Appreciation Week, but I didn't love them, so I'm going with plan B....whatever that is? We also did a little shopping for a birthday present and for the aforementioned Teacher Appreciation Week related supplies, followed by Caroline's soccer game. The game ended in a 0-0 tie, but I was afraid Caroline's coach was going to go all Bob Knight on the field because the referee was calling lame calls against our team only. She seriously blew the whistle when one of our girls' elbows touched another girl. Then she'd scold them and tell them to play nice, just like a mother would do to her children on the playground. It was odd.

The other team had a clear handball incident, which the ref let slide.

I seriously thought the coach, who is extremely soft spoken, was going to blow a gasket and start throwing things out on to the field.

It was all very exciting. In a soccer mom kind of way. Trust me.

And now, it's almost bed time (sort of). Hooray!

Good News, I Didn't Lose Any Kids!

2011-04-29T14:43:00.002-04:00

Evidently, I'm a very competent chaperone.

However, I think I'm more exhausted after a four hour field trip then I would have been had I run the ten miles I had planned.

I didn't get any more pictures because I was too busy counting heads.

It appears that all of Fairfax county and its neighbors in all directions planned their school field trips for this very day. You wouldn't believe the crowds and the masses of yellow school buses waiting to unload eager kids in front of the museum. I felt really sorry for random visitors who came just to leisurely peruse the museum; I bet they hadn't imagined they'd be in the same place as a zillion elementary school aged kids.

What a madhouse!

It was fun, though. The traffic ridden drive to DC ate up a majority of our museum time, so in total, we had about an hour and 40 minutes to look through the exhibits and eat lunch.

To say it was a drive by field trip would be an understatement.

The teachers allowed the option for the chaperones to bring their kids home when we arrived back at the school at 1:30, but most of us chose to forgo that choice. Including me!

I'm sure Caroline is bummed, but I have to be back at the school at 3:30 to hand out race packets for tomorrow's Croc Trot 5k, followed by soccer practice at 5, so really wanted a few minutes to relax in solitude.

Now that it's over, I'm glad I went on the field trip. It may not be my favorite thing to do, but it matters to Caroline, so I suppose it wasn't that hard of a decision to skip my much anticipated run for this event. It won't be long before she wants nothing to do with me; I have to soak up any and all opportunities in which she requests my presence.

You know, I whine and complain about how 'hard' my life is, but I hope you all know that I'm being facetious. I know my life is good. It's not necessarily easy and it's definitely not charming, but it's safe and comfortable. I'm grateful for all that I have and I may abuse my flair for the dramatic when I tell my tales, but it's all in jest. With people now homeless from the damaging storms that ravaged parts of our country this week, I realize I should probably stop going all 'woe is me' over absurd things, when I truly have it made.

It's just a shame that tragedies have to occur in order for me to get a grip on reality.

Spoke Too Soon

2011-04-29T06:00:00.001-04:00

Guess what I'm doing this morning?

If you guessed chaperoning a field trip, you're a smarty pants.

Brandon's mom has a hurt foot and cannot comfortably walk around the Museum of Natural History and keep an eye on her charges, so I'm the lucky soul who gets to take her place.

I realize it's not a huge problem since I was already ~~guilted into~~ going, but now I have to ride the school bus. And be accountable for other people's children in a crowded museum. Oh, my life!

Did I mention I have to ride the school bus?

Here I thought I'd read a book while the Metro transported me downtown, sweep in, eyeball the exhibits with Caroline, not having to carry the other children's lunches or, you know, pay attention to them. But now? So long easy life!

On the bright side, now I don't have to pay $6 for Metro fare and $4.50 for parking at the Metro station. Cheap speaks to me, so I guess I'll just be a big girl and chaperone my heart out.

Do you think this means I'm back in the running for Mother of the Year?

;)

The Neurotic Housewife

Moving

Home

Ready To Roll?

Happy August!

So Glad It's Almost August

Gone Swimmin'

Now There's a Hole in My Closet!

There's a Hole In Our Ceiling

Clean Windows

Hydrated

Uninspired

Foiled

Sucker

Weekends *Edited*

Success on the High Dive

If The Tank Top Fits

Stories From The High Dive

Chasing Girls On Bikes

Look At Me....Always Thinking Ahead

Slacker Photog

There Goes My Career As A Pro Bowler

Parenting: Just Wing It!

Independence Day

Hiding

It's July!

Check Your Control At The Door

And What Is The Lovliest Four Letter Word In The English Language?

Need Some Pasta?

Big Berries. Crazy Carrots.

Pool Crashers

Tired Week

NOT The Happiest Day of the Year

Fluffer-Nutter-Ella

Father's Day All Star Soccer Tournament

Five Things Friday

Books 'n Pans

Clumps and Stumps

Bowl of Cherries

Sunday Morning Miscellaney

Aloha

Shattered Jar

I Finally Made Up My Mind

Time To Get Reacquainted With The Post Office

Berries and Bagels

A Funny Thing Happened At Soccer Today **UPDATED**

Friday Morning Confession

June Junk and Other Miscellany

Watermelon In My Salad

Memorial Day

I Bought A $50 Garbage Can

Big Orange Update

White Girl Problems

My, What Big Oranges You Have

Getting Crafty

Good Clean Fun

True Story

Don't Mind Me

Odds and Ends

Wilted

Surprise

Spring Slump

Rooster Runner

Tech Woes

Carbtastic

Discount Shopping At the Dentist

Stick It In A Bowl And Call It Dinner

Ten Things On Tuesday

The Magic of Motherhood

The Lousy Daughter: Part II

Wants and Want Nots

Peachy Groovy

Crazy About Cookie Dough

An Apple For the Teacher

Camera Roulette

May Flowers

I Must Be Bad Luck

Good News, I Didn't Lose Any Kids!

Spoke Too Soon

Weekends Edited

A Funny Thing Happened At Soccer Today UPDATED